Sink or swim, preferably swim.

Immersion...

What a wonderful concept.  When this word is spoken, immediately our minds elicit pictures of diving head first into a body of water.  We think of synonymous words like engulfed, submerged, saturated, etc...  Or maybe we think of immersion in terms of what we are giving of ourselves - like being immersed in some job or activity, being so fully preoccupied with something that you think of nothing else.  Becoming lost in what you are doing.  Giving a hundred and ten percent.  Being are fully committed.

But before you are thrown into a completely foreign culture, these thoughts, concepts, pictures and what have you, can only take you so far in preparing.  When you actually taste of full-on immersion, you realize it is so much more in real life.

This is what I have come to realize about immersion in the short time that I have been here in Ecuador...  There is no way out once you have been immersed.  There is not the option of testing the waters and deciding whether or not you are ready to swim.  It is to watch the last boat sail away into the distance as you stand on a deserted island.  It is not conditional based on how much you think you can handle.  I think as an American, this is incredibly different.  We are so used to having finding the easy route if we think something is too difficult.  We are used to having the ability to choose how much we want to give to something.  But once you are truly immersed, those comforts are no longer at the tips of your fingers.

And I have found that immersion affects so much more than what I was anticipating.  It is shifting EVERYTHING from the way I am used to living, to an entirely new way of living.  It is changing not only the way I speak, but the way I think, the way I interact with people, the way I eat, my habits, my normal living activities, etc...  And it's not easy.  Everything is process.  I cannot take swimming lessons in a baby pool and then expect to be a pro once I get thrown into the middle of the ocean.

But it's worth it!  It's so worth working for.  As every day goes by I become more and more determined to learn how to live in this culture and to adjust my "norm".  I do NOT want to go through my time here fighting against the things that I am not used to.  I want to embrace the beauty of this entire experience!

And it has been beautiful!  Honestly, even though it is difficult and I get frustrated at how much I still have to learn, my favorite moments so far have been the I-have-no-idea-what-is-going-on-and-have-no-way-to-figure-it-out kind of moments.  I find myself in the middle of situations where I feel like I watching some sport that has never been explained to me.  I so enjoy watching the interactions between people, the expressiveness, the rapid "everyone speaking at once", and the laughter.  I understand some phrases here and there, but honestly have no grasp on what is being said.  And then there is freak out moment when some comment is directed at me and I realize that everyone is waiting for me to respond. Yes!  Even though it's scary, it has been so fun pushing myself in these situations and than laughing with others when I completely blow it.

Yes, immersion is a beautiful thing and I am so excited to get to be in the very center of it right now.  So far this has been some of the faces of immersion these past couple of weeks...

Filming a promo for "Casa Mis Sueños".

Ecuadorian Zumba in the park. Yes they are laughing at us!

The beautiful 5th graders I have had the pleasure of working with.

Baking for a women's conference this weekend.

So it begins...

"Happy Day 5," my dear house mate Lynda said as we sat squished together in the back of a taxi this morning.  Is it really only the fifth day that I'm here.  Absolutely crazy!  With everything that has happened during the time that I have been here, and with the level of exhaustion that I have hit, it feels more like I have been here for a month.  I didn't expect that, having been here once before, but this time is different, this time I am re-learning how to live.  I'm not being given a week's itinerary and mentally preparing for a grueling 2 weeks of mission work.  I am being presented with my life for the next 9 months and having to prepare for adjusting my entire life.  It's incredible!

First of all, my mind has been on a perpetual treadmill on the highest speed setting, trying to keep up with the language while taking in everything new in my environment.  I absolutely love being daily pushed in my Spanish!  Coming in, I was so nervous about speaking, but it's so natural to throw myself out there even when I am completely mutilating what I am trying to say.  I have laughed more, talked about more interesting and ridiculous topics, and fallen more in love with this beautiful language than ever before.  This week we started having our lovely Spanish teacher come to our house.  It's been fun working on the language in a classroom setting again, but honestly, I have been growing more around our kitchen table, talking with the maids - Rosa and Patricia - and the Abuela (Grandma) - Made.  We over exaggerate words, frequently give each other confused looks, and after much work and laughter we eventually understand what is trying to be said.  So fun!

The two other girls that I am living with and interning with are Carly and Lynda.  I am absolutely honored to be working with two of the most incredible women I have ever met.  Both of them are from Alaska.  I did 2nd year with Lynda where we met on a ministry trip and later got to know each other while on our missions trip to Ecuador in the spring.  Carly did BSSM a year before me and was in LA this past year, working with Jenn Toledo and her ministry in the States.  She also was on the trip in the spring.  It has been so good having these ladies with me!  Even in the short amount of time that I have been here, it has been such a relief to have people to process with especially being introduced to so many new things.

As far as the internship goes, this week has been a crash-course, introducing us to many of the things we will be involved in.  Most of the work that we will be doing as interns will be done alongside our official 3rd year mentor, Sabri and her sister, Mela.  Again, I could not ask for two more incredible women to work under and learn from.  It is so beautiful to see the hearts these women have for what they do.  The love that they have for the nation of Ecuador is absolutely contagious.  I listen to them talk to us and I can feel my heart just expanding with love, vision, passion, hope, etc...  I cannot wait to work with these women!  Mela will be working full time on "Casa Mis Sueños," the safe house they are opening for girls who have been sexually abused and/or trafficked.  (I will write in detail about the vision and the work we are doing there when I have more time.)  So we will be working alongside Mela with anything that has to do with the house.  And then we will be working with Sabri in most everything else we are doing... youth prisons, feeding center, church home groups, etc...  As far as right now, we don't exactly know what we will be doing on a regular basis, but I think it's going to be one of those things that will worked out with time.

And finally, we will be working at a small Christian immersion school as English teachers.  We went on Wednesday for our first day - my experience... Ay ay ay!!!  Talk about culture shock.  We were completely thrown in without any explanation on how things work, training on how to teach, or forewarning as far as what was expected of us.  I have been assigned to a 5th grade class, which is students ages 8-9, and I will be with them all day.  There is a head teacher, but she would sporadically come up to me, hand me the text book, and say, "OK you teach this to them in English."  This is an immersion school, so they teach all their classes partially in English, but most of the kids in my class only know a few basic sentences.  The fact that she wanted me to teach science, math, social studies, etc... simply because I speak English, was simply overwhelming.  The first couple of times she did this to me, I just stared back at her having no idea what she wanted me to do.  In my mind - "This is literally being thrown into something where I have NO qualifications, but OK."  I did my best and hoped that was what the teacher was wanting me to do.  I still have no idea!  And then there were a few times where they put me into a "speaking" class, without any other teacher, and just told me to "speak."  "Ummm... OK."  Lord Jesus give me grace!  But the kids are wonderful!  They are completely precious and so loving.  Every single one of them stole my heart, and it is a privilege to speak into their lives.  We've been told that the school directors want us to be sowing into the spiritual atmosphere as well, so it will be interesting seeing what the Lord does there.  I'm sure I will have PLENTY of stories through this entire experience.

There is so much more I could share, but at this point my brain is having a hard enough time with everything else to be really able to write everything in my heart.  I have posted new prayer requests on my prayer page at the top, so check it out!
Blessings!

Fly Me Away

Where to begin?  

My body may be sitting in seat 27C on my last connecting flight to Quito, Ecuador, but my mind seems to be in a hundred different places at once.  These past couple of weeks have been a whirlwind of coffee-dates, shopping trips, endless lists, "yes", "no" and "maybe" piles of clothes, and all the last minute tasks that always end up taking more than a minute.  And yet, in the midst of what would appear to be preparedness and great organization, every other minute I would find myself in a "Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh, I can't believe this is happening" breakdown moment.  

"Deep breaths, Ellie, deep breaths."  "Jesus, HELP ME!  I don't even know what to do with myself."  "How on earth do I put my life into a suitcase?  I'm not going to be able to do it!"

To tell the truth, it probably took twice as long getting everything done because of these moments.  I would just be getting into the flow of packing everything, then that moment would sneak up on me and it would be over.  A tea break would soon follow where I would try to focus my mind on something else.

But Jesus was so good to me throughout this time.  Even though my mind would take these turbulent turns, my heart felt oddly at peace.  Never for a minute did I wonder whether or not I was doing the right thing.  Never for a minute did I questioned what He has spoken to me.  I most definitely have had fears surface left and right, but I continually had a sense of His grace covering me, giving me the ability to trust His supreme goodness.

This leads me to the few things that He has been speaking to me about my upcoming journey.
1)  In one word - Trust.  I love the plan: having vision for where I’m going, praying into that vision, preparing myself according to what the vision is, etc...  But every time I have tried to bring up the plan, the Holy Spirit has changed the subject.  Lord, why?!  He has been showing me that often times, my desire for the plan has actually been trust in something other than the Holy Spirit leading me.  He wants to take me into crazy situations where the only way there is a victorious outcome is if I trust and rely fully on Him.  That will not be possible if even a small portion of my heart still clings to my strength and what I am able to accomplish.  I have to trust me relationship with Him.  I have to trust that I hear His voice.  I have to trust that He is all sufficient.

2)  This is a season to take initiative for the things in my heart.  I was struck the other day at how often we get good ideas; those “we should’s,” “wouldn’t it be fun’s” and “one day I want to’s.”  And then quickly those ideas float into our minds and then float out.  They hardly ever take root, or at best, end up on a bucket-list.  The Lord has challenged me, what would happen if I just went after those things that “randomly” pop into my mind or conversation?  What if I stepped past the dreaming stage and stepped into action?  I am sensing that while I am in Ecuador, I will be having many unique opportunities, but many of them will only happen if I stop waiting for them to happen to me and actually do something about them.


So here I am, an hour and a half away from the beginning of one of the most radical things I have ever found myself doing.  Bless the Lord!