Fly Me Away

Where to begin?  

My body may be sitting in seat 27C on my last connecting flight to Quito, Ecuador, but my mind seems to be in a hundred different places at once.  These past couple of weeks have been a whirlwind of coffee-dates, shopping trips, endless lists, "yes", "no" and "maybe" piles of clothes, and all the last minute tasks that always end up taking more than a minute.  And yet, in the midst of what would appear to be preparedness and great organization, every other minute I would find myself in a "Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh, I can't believe this is happening" breakdown moment.  

"Deep breaths, Ellie, deep breaths."  "Jesus, HELP ME!  I don't even know what to do with myself."  "How on earth do I put my life into a suitcase?  I'm not going to be able to do it!"

To tell the truth, it probably took twice as long getting everything done because of these moments.  I would just be getting into the flow of packing everything, then that moment would sneak up on me and it would be over.  A tea break would soon follow where I would try to focus my mind on something else.

But Jesus was so good to me throughout this time.  Even though my mind would take these turbulent turns, my heart felt oddly at peace.  Never for a minute did I wonder whether or not I was doing the right thing.  Never for a minute did I questioned what He has spoken to me.  I most definitely have had fears surface left and right, but I continually had a sense of His grace covering me, giving me the ability to trust His supreme goodness.

This leads me to the few things that He has been speaking to me about my upcoming journey.
1)  In one word - Trust.  I love the plan: having vision for where I’m going, praying into that vision, preparing myself according to what the vision is, etc...  But every time I have tried to bring up the plan, the Holy Spirit has changed the subject.  Lord, why?!  He has been showing me that often times, my desire for the plan has actually been trust in something other than the Holy Spirit leading me.  He wants to take me into crazy situations where the only way there is a victorious outcome is if I trust and rely fully on Him.  That will not be possible if even a small portion of my heart still clings to my strength and what I am able to accomplish.  I have to trust me relationship with Him.  I have to trust that I hear His voice.  I have to trust that He is all sufficient.

2)  This is a season to take initiative for the things in my heart.  I was struck the other day at how often we get good ideas; those “we should’s,” “wouldn’t it be fun’s” and “one day I want to’s.”  And then quickly those ideas float into our minds and then float out.  They hardly ever take root, or at best, end up on a bucket-list.  The Lord has challenged me, what would happen if I just went after those things that “randomly” pop into my mind or conversation?  What if I stepped past the dreaming stage and stepped into action?  I am sensing that while I am in Ecuador, I will be having many unique opportunities, but many of them will only happen if I stop waiting for them to happen to me and actually do something about them.


So here I am, an hour and a half away from the beginning of one of the most radical things I have ever found myself doing.  Bless the Lord!