A Dream Within a Dream

Before I head off to church this morning, I need to make sure I don't forget my toothbrush, my water bottle, or my money for the week.  Why, you might wonder.  I am about to take a trip within this trip.  Something like a dream within a dream.  Except this is reality.  I will not let my dreams be dreams.  There must come a time when desire, vision, urgency, and honestly whatever it takes to push me over the fence of a good idea into the world of seizing every opportunity.

These past few months I have been growing so much - adjusting to an entirely new culture, stepping into leadership positions, growing in communication and relationships, etc...  But I have continued to have this gnawing dissatisfaction with my ability to communicate within the Spanish language.  I know that I am Leaps and Bounds ahead of where I was just 2 months ago, but in my heart, I know I am not on the track that I want to be on.  This is mostly due to the fact that my current living situation is with other English speakers.  It's just so easy to revert to the language that where everyone can understand each other.  We have all been putting forth our best effort on a daily basis: reading books in Spanish, watching Spanish TV/Movies, Spanish lessons, listening to Spanish music, etc...  But all of this can only take you so far.

A week ago I sat down with the Lord and had a long discussion.  As I sat in my room with heavy tears spilling down my face, I had to ask, "God, why am I so emotional about this?!"  He began to remind me one of my biggest dream in signing up for this internship - I really, REALLY want to learn this beautiful language.  It's been my dream since being a little girl.  And it has not been my main focus in being here.  He began to speak to my heart that this is not just a little dream that has to be pushed to the side to make way for ministry.  Ministry is life.  My life is ministry.  Ministry should not push any other dreams out of the picture.  Therefore, God is giving me full grace to pursue this dream that burns within my heart.

Sooooo... it began with a simple thought as I rode in the bus a week ago.  "What if I left?  What if I completely removed myself from all English and lived a Spanish life for a couple weeks?  That's probably not long enough, but maybe, just maybe it would be the push I need to get on the right track of realizing this dream of mine."  With everything built up inside of me, I was just crazy enough to make this more than just a thought, to see if this could really happen.  So I talked with my amazing mentor, and within a couple days she texted me, "I found your family.  They're ready for you on Sunday!"  Really?!  Oh, OK, here we go then!

So for the next 10 days I will be living with a family in the South part of Quito - very far removed from my current home and ALL English, as they do not speak my language.  During the day, I will be working at a BEAUTIFUL feeding center, called Genesis 7.  This ministry has been running for 15 years.  I mentioned the pastors of this center in an earlier post (The God we serve) - Fausto and his wife.  They have been feeding over 100 children everyday for these 15 years, many of whom this meal is their only meal for the day, and who live on the streets or in very poor conditions.  The beauty of God's favor and grace on this ministry is overwhelming.  I am so excited to be able to help out with the beautiful ladies that cook for the kids, to learn from their example of servanthood, and to spend time with all 100 of the beautiful, smiling, Ecuadorian faces that have already captured my heart.  Did I mention how beautiful this is to me?

It's crazy how much excitement and peace I feel in this moment.  I know I am about to take a pretty big risk - for me anyway.  But I feel the Lord all over this decision and I KNOW that His grace will cover me in this time.  Please pray for the supernatural ability to retain the language, to speak it with confidence, and to enjoy the process along the way!