The first time I met her she was a shy 15 year old girl, big hazel eyes, wild "Shirley Temple" curls, and a smile that, although was reserved, lit up the entire room. She wasn't outgoing like some of the other girls, grabbing everyone's attention in the room. Nor was she completely disconnected like still some others, so broken that all they could do was cry. Of course every girl was completely different; their stories, although similar in many ways, were altogether unique. And each responded to her circumstances in a different manner, not one being right and the other wrong. Yet there was something about Marilena that stirred my heart and drew me to her from that initial encounter.
Marilena had been human trafficked... She was sold into slavery, forced into prostitution. That's why she was there at the rehab center, same with all the girls. What horrors, abuse and trauma she experienced most of us will never be able to fully comprehend. What kind of evil could perpetrate this most astonishing abomination, that could take a child of innocence and force her to become a child of many sorrows, a child of utter defilement, a child of darkness? My initial concern was - where do I even begin to relate to such a girl? Or how can I even begin to offer healing to her heart? It's like that overwhelming feeling that comes over you as you take in the wreckage left in the wake of a hurricane or a tornado, and then asking yourself - where do we even start? It's almost scary.
That's how I felt when we started going to the girl's rehab on a weekly basis to spend time with these girls. I didn't know what to expect or what to offer them. But then I met Marilena. Even though she was just as much in the aftermath of her own tragedy as the other girls, I could still see the little girl behind her timid smile. In her eyes was a curiosity about the love that we spoke of and a hunger for friendship. She undid all my guards.
We started our friendship by her teaching me Spanish words and me teaching her English words. Each week we would come back and quiz each other to see if we remembered our vocabulary from the week before. Her favorite words were, "eyes," "nose," "smile," "how are you?" and "I love you." We laughed over our mistakes and had simple conversations about life. I didn't have to offer some mysterious key to healing or freedom. She just wanted a friend. That was enough.
As the weeks went by, we continued to offer simple love and friendship to each of these girls. Some weeks we spoke on identity and purpose. Other weeks we had times of worship and prayer over the girls. Other weeks we did art to stimulate creativity or played crazy games to stimulate silliness and girlieness. On one of the weeks we did art, Marilena painted me a picture (I still have it tucked away in my journal) that said how much she loves me and misses me when I'm not there. One of the weeks we spoke on purpose and dreams, Marilena told me that her dreams were to fly in an airplane and to become a veterinarian. I saw her tenderness in the way that she cared for one of the other girl's baby boy. Each week she would be the first to greet me, running up and giving me the biggest hug. Each week she was the last to say goodbye, holding onto me saying, "Please don't leave!" And each week my heart fell more in love with this beautiful girl.
The last week before I left Ecuador to spend Christmas at home in Colorado, we had a special Christmas party for the girls. We spent a couple hours cutting out snowflakes with the girls and decorating the dining room for our Turkey feast. The atmosphere should have been one of joy and festivities, but there was so much sadness in the girls eyes as they knew we were leaving soon. The whole day Marilena was at my side. At one point she whispered in my ear, "I won't be here when you come back. They tell me I'm leaving by the end of this month. I don't know where I'm going to go. I may never see you again! Please don't go!" How do you respond to that?
When the time came to say goodbye, Marilena held onto me with tears streaming down her face. "Always remember me as your favorite little sister. You are my favorite older sister and I will never forget you!" My heart broke at the desperation I saw in her and so many of the girls that day. We had brought love to them that maybe they had never experienced in that way before. When we were with them they were safe. And now we were leaving. Where did that leave them? All during my time at home over Christmas I struggled with that thought. But I had to come to the place where I knew Jesus was enough. It wasn't necessarily our love that these girls had been experiencing. It was the sweet love of Jesus that would never leave them nor would it forsake them. I clang to that truth.
When I came back to Ecuador in January, I was ready to go back to the girls. My heart hurt as I knew Marilena wouldn't be there, but I loved each of them so much and just wanted to see their faces. Then a month went by, then two. New restrictions in the system, miscommunications and scheduling problems stood in the way from our team going back. It came to the point where we all wondered if we would get to go back at all. But last week we finally were able to go to the rehab center with the promise that we could come back every week! It was such a strange feeling that we all had as we were driving to the center last Monday afternoon. We had loved these girls so much, but we knew that most of them, if not all, would have left by this time. They would be all new faces to us. Yet we also knew that we would be able to love each one of them with the same love Jesus had given us before.
We walked behind the guard through the multiple different doors that lead us inside, still wondering what to expect. And then... I saw her around the corner, that sweet, beautiful smiling face. Marilena ran towards me and we fell into each other's arms, laughing with so much joy and excitement to see one another. I couldn't believe that she was there! And to our surprise, 6 of the girls that we had known were still there and were completely overjoyed to see us. We were told that they asked about us every week. They all hung onto us, asking why we hadn't come for so long. What could we tell them? It didn't even matter though. It felt like coming home. And the 15 other girls were so unbelievably sweet and open to us coming into their lives. We all felt like we had known each other for years by our time was over. It was so beautiful to see Jesus' promises manifest as you could see that His love truly had continued to minister to them even without us coming.
Marilena sat with me and we talked as if we had never been apart. We told each other how much we had missed one another and how we had been praying for the other. And then she said something that completely blew me away. "My dreams have been becoming real," she told me. "A month ago they told me I was going somewhere. I didn't know where they were taking me. And then we showed up at the airport. I didn't know why. But then they told me that they were surprising me and sending me on an airplane to the coast for a visit. I flew on an airplane for the first time!" She couldn't believe it and neither could I! We had spoken to these girls over and over again of the importance of dreaming; that when they dreamed, anything could happen. And God was backing that statement! She also told me that when she leaves the center in a couple months, she is going to go back to school and will eventually study to become a veterinarian. She was spilling over with happiness as she told me about these evidences of her life moving forward into a hope filled future.
This has been our prayer for the girls all along! - that they wouldn't remain victims to their circumstances, but that they would receive healing through the love of Jesus and be empowered to live beautifully whole lives. And here it is becoming reality right before our eyes!
This is so like Jesus. He was the greatest friend this world ever beheld. We complicate everything and think that we need to have answers for everyone and their problems. But Jesus so simplified the Gospel. He demystified it in this one command... Love! Just become a friend to people. That's all you have to offer. The world is hungry for a "friend who sticks closer than a brother." No strings attached. No agenda to see the other person "fixed" or even (dare I say it?) saved. Just be a friend. It will bring down all the guards. It will undo all the defenses. You can fight theology but you can't fight friendship.
This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you. This is the very best way to love. Put your life on the line for your friends. You are my friends when you do the things I command you. I’m no longer calling you servants because servants don’t understand what their master is thinking and planning. No, I’ve named you friends because I’ve let you in on everything I’ve heard from the Father.
John 15:12-15
