Just Say Yes

Six months ago from today I found myself seated on an American Airlines flight from Denver to Quito, wondering what on earth I was doing there.  A million thoughts ran through my mind.  Had I really heard God's voice?  Had I chosen the right door to walk through?  I felt one half crazy and the other half freaked out of my mind.  In a way, I felt like a baby bird flying the nest, so uncertain of my ability to fly.  All I knew was that I had said Yes to Jesus and if that meant going to South America for 1 year, I would do it.  But that Yes felt like it was costing me something.  That Yes had felt so difficult to say.  It took every ounce of my strength to force that one simple syllable out through my lips and direct it toward one specific decision.  But out it came and I didn't look back.

In my time here I have exercised my "Yes" muscle over and over again.  Countless times over the past 6 months I have come upon things that absolutely scare me and I will hear the Holy Spirit whisper to me - Ellie, will you trust me?  And each time I choose to say Yes, He backs me up with the grace to actually do what I said Yes to.  My Yes has not stopped being scary, but my certainty in the strength of His presence has grown to the point that it drowns out the voice of fear.  The rate of response has become faster and faster and with greater confidence.  It has looked something like this...

Ellie, will you jump?  Will you trust me?
"That was a crazy thought!  That must have been me.  That couldn't have been you, God.  But Jesus, that doesn't make any sense!  I can't.  There's no way I could be brave enough.  Jesus really?  Ah, OK, Yes!"
Ellie, will you jump?  Will you trust me?
"That was a crazy thought!  That must have been me.  That couldn't have been you, God.  But Jesus, that doesn't make any sense!  Jesus really?  Ah, OK, Yes!"
Ellie, will you jump?  Will you trust me?
"That was a crazy thought!  But Jesus, that doesn't make any sense!  Jesus really?  Ah, OK, Yes!"
Ellie, will you jump?  Will you trust me?
"That was a crazy thought!  Jesus really?  Ah, OK, Yes!"

My daily run :)

A week ago I was on a run (side note: I'm training for a half-marathon!!!) and I was just talking with Jesus and thinking about my life here in Ecuador (sometimes I can't believe that my life is for real).  It was just a normal run and a normal conversation with Jesus, but then I stepped into that same crazy-Yes-moment that had caught me by surprise so many times before.

Ellie, will you give up your Spanish classes?
Wait, what?
This thought felt crazy in many ways, but two felt unanswerable.
1)  What on earth would I do with my time?  Spanish classes fill up most of my schedule for the week, coming to around 5 hours a day, 5 days a week.  I can't just drop my classes without having a plan for what I would be doing with my time!
And 2) I'm still not fluent!!!!  Jesus knows the dreams and the desires of my heart.  How could He ask me to lay this down after all the hard work I've put into it and the fact that I still haven't reached my dream?
Ellie, will you jump?  Will you trust me?

I told Jesus I would pray about it.  After I told Him that, I realized how ridiculous that was since He would be the one I would pray to about it...

6 months ago I would have either brushed off the thought as irrational and nonsensical OR I would have strapped myself into a seat of worrying, reasoning, figuring it out, going through all the pros and cons, etcetera and etcetera.  I've come to realize that it's better to say Yes and jump without thinking.  Obviously, making calculated decisions is always a good idea.  But I want to get to that place where whenever Jesus says jump, I jump without asking.  No, it normally doesn't make sense.  But God cannot be limited and fit into the box of sense.

So I said Yes...  Yes without knowing what would be waiting for me.  Yes without knowing where my feet would land.  Yes even though He had yet to show me why.  Yes Jesus Yes!  Let everything within me be Yes!

Praying over Quito

Just say yes, just say there's nothing holding you back
It's not a test, nor a trick of the mind
Only love
It's so simple and you know it is
You know it is
We can't be to and fro like this
All our lives
You're the only way to me
The path is clear
What do I have to say to you
For Gods sake, dear- Snow Patrol "Just Say Yes"


Once I made the decision to give up my Spanish classes, I had two visions, one of Jesus handing me a map of Quito and the other of Jesus handing me a treasure map.  He invited me on a faith adventure.  What would it look like to get up each morning and ask Holy Spirit, “where we are going to go today?”  And then walk with Him wherever He leads me in the city of Quito?  Maybe I will take a couple of buses to get there.  Maybe I will walk for a couple of hours.  Maybe the treasure will be a person that He wants me to talk with.  Maybe the treasure will be a place where I will pray and bring His kingdom.  I don't know, but I said Yes and now I can't wait!

Let’s go find uncharted territory together
Let’s throw all the plans out the window
I don’t need to pack my bags
I have all that I need, I have your voice

My heart has been captured by this city and these people.  I want to see freedom come to this land.  I want to see the sons and daughters of God rise up and take there place.  I want to see revolution fill the streets, ringing with the sound of justice.  I am just so excited for what this adventure with Jesus is going to turn into.  I just love how He always leads us by His goodness whenever we say Yes as He holds out His hand.  Yes is never the wrong answer.  Yes to Him will always prove to be right.  It will feel crazy and wild and out of control, but that's how it should be.  Yes is so much fun!

Just say YES!