Justice Stirring

This weekend was the 14th year anniversary of the tragedy that happened at Columbine High School with the shooting and killing of 12 students and 1 teacher.  I still remember that day so very clearly even though I was still a baby, only 7 years old.

We were waiting in our family van in the parking lot at Einstein's Bagels - 5 hungry kids waiting for our mother to bring us our favorite chocolate chip bagels after an entire morning spent at the dentist's office.  I remember swinging my legs outside the car door and looking up as helicopters flew right overhead.  "Hey, it's the news!"  I shouted excitedly and waved with both arms.  Within a few minutes I saw my mom running out toward our car in complete hysterics.  My first thought was - something happened to the baby!  My mom was literally one week away from having my baby sister, and so my little 7-year old mind jumped to the only thing I could imagine would send my mom over the edge like that.  "Maybe something really bad happened to the baby," I thought.  But it wasn't the tragedy of a woman's womb this time...

I don't remember how my mom explained what had just happened to a van full of little kids, but we soon discovered that a there were gunmen at the high school a couple blocks away from where we were.  There had been students who had just run into the bagel shop screaming for help.  That was the reason for the helicopters.  That was the reason for my mom's hysterics.  I remember the entire 30 minute drive home, sitting in somber silence, listening to the local news over the radio, wondering what was going to happen.

That day crashed upon our community like a furious tidal wave coming upon an unsuspecting beach town.  Everyone was affected.  This was not just something we heard about on the news in some distant nation.  This was real.  This was personal.  Everyone either knew one of the students either directly, through a family member or through a friend of friend.  For my family, it was Rachel Scott.  Her mom had been a part of our church.

This tragedy was not only so horrific because of the nearness of it all, but the blow took on an even more personal note.  Many of these high school students believed in Jesus.  When the barrel of the gun was pointed at their faces, they were directed with the question - Do you believe?  And those who said "yes" died that day.  The blood of these modern day martyrs was spilt in a high school library instead of in a Roman colosseum.

In the weeks that followed that historic day, a movement started.  Youth from around the country were radically impacted by the tragedy that had happened in my hometown in Colorado.  A call went out from my church, challenging the youth to "pick up the torch" that students like Rachel Scott had so passionately carried.  The response was incredible.  There were events where hundreds of kids rallied around this call.  Songs were written out of the movement.  Apathetic youth were turning to Jesus with a new passion.

Like I said before, I was only 7 years old during this time.  But I remember the mark that was being engraved upon my heart.  That torch that they talked about was starting to burn in my own heart.  I wanted to be a part of the events and the movement, but I was too little.  I remember thinking how I couldn't wait to grow up so that I could be a part of what was happening.  I wanted to carry the torch.

Ever since then, tragedies and injustices have always stirred my heart.  Whenever I hear the statistics or the breaking news about some tragedy, I feel that same passion rising up inside of me that had first been awakened in me all those years ago.  What can I do?  How can I be a part of the answer?  It wasn't til years later that I realized that this was actually God's heart of JUSTICE.

The issue of justice fills every book of the Bible...
God loves justice.  
What does the Lord require of you but to do justice...?
He has established His thrown on justice.
Blessed are those who observe justice.
The Lord works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed.

Just open the book and you will find it; you cannot miss it.  It seems to be on every page, grabbing you by the collar and begging you to listen.  And yet, do we even know what it means?  Are we practicing it in our personal lives?  Can we find it in our churches?  Are we leading the world in doing it?

One of my favorite definitions of justice is that it is the restoration of every violation of love.
The shooting of innocent school students is a violation of love.
Millions of starving children is a violation of love.
The woman dying of cancer is a violation of love.
The man without a job is a violation of love.
The thousands trafficked into sex slavery is a violation of love.

Where does it end?
It ends with us.
Just read Isaiah 58.  It's pretty straightforward.

So looking back at Columbine, I can't help but wonder, why is it STILL happening?  The injustice is that there are still gunmen running around.  The injustice is that we haven't come up with solutions.  I don't want to sound over dramatic, but the blood of those kids IS crying out for justice.  What are we doing to actively bring Biblical justice to our society?

Today I am starting a 40 day period of prayer and fasting for God to start a justice movement on the earth.  It is time for us to actually look at the injustices around us.  It is time to be stirred with indignation at the little that is being done.  It is time to become the answer because we carry the Restorer of love inside of us.  His name is Jesus and He is dying to make all the wrongs in this world right.  He already paid the price.  It is injustice that we are not fully living in the victory of what He finished.  Justice is giving Jesus what He paid for.

Seeing in circles

It's always so surreal when you feel like you are in a moment of coming full circle.  You look around, you take everything in, you remember what it was like when you started the circle, and now you get to look back and all the way around.  One year ago I started my journey in Ecuador on my Bethel missions trip.  I remember what it was like.  I remember the experiences.  I remember the faces.  I remember how my heart felt as God showed me His love for this nation.  I remember thinking, "I will never be the same after this."  Little did I know what "this" would turn into.

Two and a half weeks ago we had a group of fresh faces from Bethel arrive to this beautiful Ecuadorian land.  The same missions trip that started everything for me, but this time being on the other side, my internship behind me and having to face it's near conclusion.  I wasn't at all sure what to expect in having a short term Bethel missions team coming.  I knew it would be good, but what would I feel, what would I see, what would be different now that I have lived here and sown here for 7 months?

I think I saw, felt and experienced more in these past two weeks than I have in a long time.

I don't know that I can fully write down or explain everything that happened while the team was here, but if I had to label anything I would say that I'm pretty sure my heart went through surgery.  And I didn't even realize how much I was needing that surgery until I was right in the middle of the operation.  First of all, this team loved so well, laid down their lives in such and beautiful way, and filled me up in every way possible.  

Their words still ring in my ears - "Thank you for plowing the ground.  Thank you for your faithfulness.  Thank you for loving this nation."  It is incredible the power in them simply honoring what they saw in our work.  Instead of coming to Ecuador with an agenda of seeing amazing miracles, I am convinced that they came for us.  That may sound selfish, but every time they loved on our girls at the prison, or the kids on the streets, or the old people in the mountains, all the people that we have loved - they were loving on us.  It screamed the message to us that everything we have been fighting for, everything we have been giving ourselves to, has been worth it.  Nothing is wasted.

It makes all wrongs right, turns all sorrow into joy, makes all the hours of hard work completely worth it when you see the fruit of your labor.  Maybe it's how a mother feels after the months of pregnancy and then the agony of the birthing process and then to hold her own flesh and blood and to look into the face of life.  Maybe it's how Jesus felt when He received the joy that was set before Him that helped Him endure the brutality of the Cross.  For me it was sitting in the girls jail with my arms wrapped around one of our dear ones and feeling her melt under the the love that charged the atmosphere.  It was watching the girls in the prison weep uncontrollably as the men on the team repented for all the men that had hurt them in their lives.  It was seeing the power of guilt and shame break as the men washed the girls' feet and the women prophesied over each one that they are pure and washed from all sin.  That is the moment that you know with everything inside of you that it was all worth it.

The lies of discouragement, hopelessness and despair that try to make themselves at home in your heart are exposed and uprooted in the light of that kind of extravagant faithfulness, displayed by our perfect Father.  I am truly undone by His goodness and just cannot thank Him enough for all that He has done, is doing and has yet to do.  These kind of testimonies stir up hope inside of your soul - If God is this good, what more is possible?  What kind of impossibilities can I set on fire with the testimony of His goodness?  How can I declare war on the enemy with the weapon of hope?

So here I am, at the completion of a beautiful circle.  It makes me think that we should view our lives through circles, always seeing where the Lord has brought us as we look back on everything that we have fought through.  Not that we need to measure and compare growth, but it truly is encouraging when you see where you started and how far you've come.  Whether that be through reading back in old journal entries, or through remembering testimonies in the past, or through spending time with the people who have gone to hell and back with you.  Truly taking in the circles of your life's processes reminds you of God's goodness and propels you onto what He has next.  We are never stuck.  We are always moving forward in His perfect will.  Sometimes it just takes a little bit of perspective to see where we truly are.