Seeing in circles

It's always so surreal when you feel like you are in a moment of coming full circle.  You look around, you take everything in, you remember what it was like when you started the circle, and now you get to look back and all the way around.  One year ago I started my journey in Ecuador on my Bethel missions trip.  I remember what it was like.  I remember the experiences.  I remember the faces.  I remember how my heart felt as God showed me His love for this nation.  I remember thinking, "I will never be the same after this."  Little did I know what "this" would turn into.

Two and a half weeks ago we had a group of fresh faces from Bethel arrive to this beautiful Ecuadorian land.  The same missions trip that started everything for me, but this time being on the other side, my internship behind me and having to face it's near conclusion.  I wasn't at all sure what to expect in having a short term Bethel missions team coming.  I knew it would be good, but what would I feel, what would I see, what would be different now that I have lived here and sown here for 7 months?

I think I saw, felt and experienced more in these past two weeks than I have in a long time.

I don't know that I can fully write down or explain everything that happened while the team was here, but if I had to label anything I would say that I'm pretty sure my heart went through surgery.  And I didn't even realize how much I was needing that surgery until I was right in the middle of the operation.  First of all, this team loved so well, laid down their lives in such and beautiful way, and filled me up in every way possible.  

Their words still ring in my ears - "Thank you for plowing the ground.  Thank you for your faithfulness.  Thank you for loving this nation."  It is incredible the power in them simply honoring what they saw in our work.  Instead of coming to Ecuador with an agenda of seeing amazing miracles, I am convinced that they came for us.  That may sound selfish, but every time they loved on our girls at the prison, or the kids on the streets, or the old people in the mountains, all the people that we have loved - they were loving on us.  It screamed the message to us that everything we have been fighting for, everything we have been giving ourselves to, has been worth it.  Nothing is wasted.

It makes all wrongs right, turns all sorrow into joy, makes all the hours of hard work completely worth it when you see the fruit of your labor.  Maybe it's how a mother feels after the months of pregnancy and then the agony of the birthing process and then to hold her own flesh and blood and to look into the face of life.  Maybe it's how Jesus felt when He received the joy that was set before Him that helped Him endure the brutality of the Cross.  For me it was sitting in the girls jail with my arms wrapped around one of our dear ones and feeling her melt under the the love that charged the atmosphere.  It was watching the girls in the prison weep uncontrollably as the men on the team repented for all the men that had hurt them in their lives.  It was seeing the power of guilt and shame break as the men washed the girls' feet and the women prophesied over each one that they are pure and washed from all sin.  That is the moment that you know with everything inside of you that it was all worth it.

The lies of discouragement, hopelessness and despair that try to make themselves at home in your heart are exposed and uprooted in the light of that kind of extravagant faithfulness, displayed by our perfect Father.  I am truly undone by His goodness and just cannot thank Him enough for all that He has done, is doing and has yet to do.  These kind of testimonies stir up hope inside of your soul - If God is this good, what more is possible?  What kind of impossibilities can I set on fire with the testimony of His goodness?  How can I declare war on the enemy with the weapon of hope?

So here I am, at the completion of a beautiful circle.  It makes me think that we should view our lives through circles, always seeing where the Lord has brought us as we look back on everything that we have fought through.  Not that we need to measure and compare growth, but it truly is encouraging when you see where you started and how far you've come.  Whether that be through reading back in old journal entries, or through remembering testimonies in the past, or through spending time with the people who have gone to hell and back with you.  Truly taking in the circles of your life's processes reminds you of God's goodness and propels you onto what He has next.  We are never stuck.  We are always moving forward in His perfect will.  Sometimes it just takes a little bit of perspective to see where we truly are.