How do you start a movement?

When I emailed him a little over a month ago, I had no idea that God was going to use that message to begin a movement.

We started having meetings for Casa Mis Sueños in October (read about Casa Mis Sueños in last post).  It was all so exciting to be apart of, dreaming together, writing down lists of donations that we needed, starting a Facebook page, etc...  But sitting patiently in the back corner of our hearts, was this little frustration - Will this home ever really become a reality?  The hoped for date had been set for this past July... then this September... then this December...  The legal documents that we need have been in "process" for a year now.  The blueprints for the home are written up, but the numbers remain glaring us in the face.  The house parents we are praying for still do not have names.  It is so hard when there is something that you want to fully run after, but it seems like you have weights around your feet that only allow you to go a slow, dragging pace.

So it happened that in one of those meetings, while we were discussing budgets and what one girl would cost per month, that I brought up my friend Jeff Brodsky.  I told the girls that I have a friend back home in Colorado, who has an organization where he does actual rescues of girls out of brothels and has helped establish safe houses all over the world.  I knew the wealth of wisdom that he has and I knew it would be extremely beneficial for our team to have him as a resource.  So with the encouragement of my team, I emailed him with the basic intention of seeing if he could send us any insight he might have on how to successfully run a safe house.

His response - "I have a better idea. How would like a visit from me where we can sit down with the team and discuss everything in person? This way I can answer any questions, see the potential facilities and they can ask me any questions regarding the right way to run a successful Safe House. If the Safe House is not run properly, the statistics are pretty bad. Over 80% of the girls will leave the facility and go back into the sex trade. When run properly, the success rate is usually in the 90% to 100% success range. A huge difference. Plus, I would get to see your sweet, smiling face!"

To put it lightly, I was completely blown away!  Within the next week he had booked his flight to arrive within 3 weeks.  This completely took me off guard.  I was expecting a polite response with some valuable insight to help our team.  But a visit to Ecuador?!  Someone would do that for us?

Jeff and Me on the equator line!

As I began to prepare for Jeff's visit, I could sense that the Holy Spirit was going to use this trip in a way that would go far beyond our little team meetings.  I felt like him coming to Ecuador would be the needed push to get this dream rolling.  We have so many amazing open doors here and all the necessary pieces.  It's like having all the wood set out, gasoline poured, the match ready, etc...  We just needed that catalyst to spark the fire.  Before he arrived, I worked out a detailed itinerary for every day of Jeff's visit.  However, what God had in mind went far beyond what any of us had planned.

In order to even paint a partially accurate picture of what happened, I have to share a little bit about Dr. Jeff Brodsky.  His organization, Joy International, is devoted to the rescue of child sex slaves all over the world, which he has been directly involved in for the past 7 years.  In all of our meetings, Jeff started out by sharing his story of being barefoot.  As of today, he has gone completely without shoes for 866 days, for the sake of the girls that he rescues.  This in itself is just a small picture of how radically Jeff loves these girls.  They are not his daughters, but as he shares, they are God's daughters and he will do whatever it takes to rescue them.  Most of what he and his team does is extremely dangerous, but he readily shares with everyone that he is willing to die for these girls; they are worth it!

One of our meetings

It is phenomenal what happens when Jeff shares why he does what he does, when he shares his heart for these girls, when he shares his stories, etc...  It is as if that same love and passion in his heart is transferred through the atmosphere and ignites something wild within your heart.  It is so much more than just an inspirational message that gets people fired up for the moment, but then remains as just something you heard someone talk about once.  There are so many organizations that do exactly that, stir people up about the issues but fail to get them doing something about those issues.  Wherever Jeff spoke here in Ecuador, on the other hand, there was a completely different response.  People didn't walk away thinking about doing something.  People leapt off of their seats and asked where to sign their names, in a sense.

And I fully believe it is because what Jeff carries is a passion for the tragedy married with a heart brimming with hope.  He is moved to tears every time he talks about the tragedy of a girl who could be as young as 4 years old, forced to service 10-15 men a day; yet his words are always crowned with hope for these girls' futures.  He shares stories of girls who have been rescued out of brothels and have gone on to become successful owners of coffee shops, lawyers fighting human trafficking, beautiful brides, passionate lovers of Jesus, etc...  It is God's heart to FULLY restore these girls to a place where they have a hope for a future.

Jeff sharing about his work and Mela translating

Looking over the blueprints for Casa Mis Sueños

This message, this drumbeat, this movement became ignited in not only our team's heart, but in the hearts of countless people in all the meetings we had while Jeff was here.  It was and still is so exciting to see people catch the vision and see the doors fling open everywhere we go.  We saw everything from doors opening up with people in the government to business men wanting to get involved to people offering their services in all different areas - film, photography, writing up legal documents, etc...  We have gone from a slow, dragging pace to full out sprint.  Within a matter of 5 days, this dream went from being something that would hopefully happen one day, into something that is happening and happening right now!  And the incredible part about it all is that it is so apparently God.  None of this could possibly be happening within our own accord.  But praise the Lord that He would want to partner with us and back all of our dreams!

We all fully believe that the Lord has started something that cannot be stopped.  Our hearts are burning with a desire to see Casa Mis Sueños launch into something more than just a safe home, to see it become a movement among the people of Ecuador.  This is not just our dream; this is God's dream!  For me, it has been so exciting being part of something that is so much bigger than I am, having a role in something as explosive as what is happening right now.  It makes me want to dream bigger.  It makes me want to trust God for more.  I wake up in the morning with excitement, anticipation, and purpose.  What will happen next?  What is the next chapter in this unfolding story?

We are so thankful for Jeff and his time investing into our vision.  His life is a testimony of God's unrelenting pursuit of His lost children.  The urgency has been thrust into our hearts.  The time is now!

Casa Mis Sueños

The movement started with a dream.  And now that dream is developing into a house of dreams.

Two years ago, Mela and Sabri heard a cry.  It came from the girls in the prison who were starving for love and purpose.  It came from the street corners where the prostitutes stood enveloped in the shadows and lost in a darkness of their souls.  It came from the girls who had been kidnapped or sold from their families, brutally forced into a life inside the brothels, and know nothing but pain and brokenness.  Their silent cries begged for someone to stop and listen, to do something, anything, to offer hope, to fight for them.  And that cry reached the hearts of Mela and Sabri.  Casa Mis Sueños was born.  It was birthed with a desire to be a voice for the voiceless, to fight for a way out for these girls, and to stand in the gap against the incredible injustices that these girls face every day.

House of My Dreams - Created For Freedom

Ecuador is a huge hub for human trafficking within South America.  Thousands of underage girls are trafficked in and out of Ecuador for the single purpose of being sold for sex 10-15 times a day.  And within the entire nation, there are only two homes devoted to the restoration of the girls that are rescued out of this nightmare.  And what is worse, most of society is either ignorant of this inhumane crime or has simply turned a blind eye to what is going on right beneath the surface.  Speaking about sex is taboo in this country, so of course, anything related to prostitution or child sex trafficking gets pushed under the rug.  Even people within the government have no idea what is going on.  Recently, one of the two foundations that works with rescued girls met with some very high officials in the government.  When these politicians heard about the work, they displayed their complete ignorance by asking, "Is there really trafficking in Ecuador?"  How can the ones who are responsible for the peace and prosperity of a nation be completely unaware of the darkest, most evil crime that is taking place on their  very soil?

Casa Mis Sueños is simply a response to the incredible need in this country.  What is the answer to injustice in the world?  We are.  

The moment I sat down with Mela and Sabri and heard their vision of starting up a safe home for girls who have been rescued out of forced prostitution, I knew I had signed up for the right internship.  The vision - "Casa Mis Sueños is a ministry devoted to restoring value and identity to young single mothers at high risk, who come from human trafficking, prostitution and youth prisons, in order for them to live as daughters of God and to inherit the Kingdom."  In a nutshell, the vision is to open up a safe house that could be not just a rehab center, but a home for these girls.  Casa Mis Sueños literally means House of My Dreams.  This home would be an environment that would allow these girls to heal physically, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually, and also be a green house for them to have dream for their future.

One year ago, Jesus signed this dream with His seal of "Yes and Amen."  Mela and Sabri were given a house where this dream could come true.  Located outside of the city, this facility is perfect for Casa Mis Sueños to be born.  Within one moment this dream became so much more than a dream, it became reality.  Since then, this beautiful story has continued to unfold with doors opening up everywhere, connections being made with people of influence and resources, miraculous donations coming in, etc...  God's favor is all over this ministry!

The home where dreams will come true for
countless girls.

Someone once told me, a dream is not a dream unless it is absolutely impossible if God does not come through.  Will we limit our dreams to what we can accomplish in our own ability?  Will our dreams reflect a small God or a big God?  How big do we believe God is?  How good do we believe God is?  How powerful do we believe God is?  Well where we are at this moment is in the very middle of a lake of impossibilities, 5 feet in over our head.  There is no way any of this can happen unless God miraculously shows up... as He has over and over and over again.

In order for our home to open up, we have a laundry list of things that need to be accomplished.  First of all, we are $300,000 dollars away from reconstructing our facilities.  We already have all the blueprints for what will be an absolutely beautiful home for these girls and their babies.  We have the architect and the man power.  We even have people who are donating material.  It's just a matter of putting all the pieces together, along with the missing finances, and this house will be reality.  Then we are praying for the right house parents to come to our back door.  These would be people who are willing to give their lives to create a family environment for these girls, to pour into their lives, and to oversee the restoration process so that they can eventually leave the home and enter society as capable and successful young women.  We also need everything it takes to make a house a home - furniture, appliances, kitchen utensils, lighting, etc...  So from where we stand, there would appear to be giants standing in the way.  But we believe our God is bigger!

So that's the home of Casa Mis Sueños.  But while we are waiting for all the pieces to line up, there is no way that we could wait to find the girls!  For the past 2 months, we have been working at one of the two rehab centers here in Ecuador.  We go once a week to simply love on these girls, help awaken their dreams and desires, bombard them over and over again with words about their value and identity, and be a friend to them.  I guess you could say that we are being Jesus to the least of these.  The facility they are at is by no means Christian, but we have been given liberty to share whatever we want with the girls.  It has been phenomenal watching the transformation that has taken place!  They are so hungry for love.  Each time we come, we are met with laughter, hugs and kisses.  Every time we leave, we are begged to stay and held onto with even bigger hugs.  These girls are opening up their hearts to us, sharing their dreams, asking for prayer, etc...

In the red light district

On top of that, my room mate Carly is starting to go down to the red light district on a weekly basis.  She wants to build relationships with the prostitutes, the ones shunned by society.  Her heart is to be able to buy girls out for the night in order to take them out to dinner and just show them their value and worth.  By Valentine's day, she wants to have a formal dinner for the girls that she has built relationship with, where they will be able to come, be catered to with the finest food, be given roses, etc...  All to demonstrate the extravagant love God has for them.

It is such an honor and privilege to be part of this incredible dream that is unfolding before our very eyes.  My heart is fully in this.  I want to see Casa Mis Sueños up and running while I'm here.  So please partner with me in prayer.  Those girls are out there and they are waiting for us to do something about it!

Check out our facebook page - http://www.facebook.com/pages/Casa-Mis-Sueños-Created-For-Freedom/250430848412112

If you want to hear more or get involved, shoot me an email - le.stailey333@gmail.com

Also, check back within a couple of days when I will be blogging about the exciting things that have happened this past week as the dream continues.

A Tiny Piece of Heart

This morning I stood against the side of the "Trolley bus", bracing myself so as not to fall with the jolting and jostling of the city streets.  I grasped my backpack with both hands, fully aware of both my whiteness and my aloneness, but also feeling strangely at home in this completely foreign world.  I became engrossed in the scene that passed by me - each street corner occupied by fruit vendors who called out to anyone in their close vicinity, groups of children running to catch the bus, cement wall after cement wall marked by the unspoken and broken reality of a hurting people, their paint screaming a message of hopelessness... All the while I contemplated my entire immersion experience here in the South.  I found myself at a loss in trying to explain how this dirty, broken, impoverished world had completely captured my heart.  Although the South is still Quito, it really is a different world - the economy, the people, the way of living, the spiritual atmosphere...  But it has been here amidst all of that, that I have felt so fully alive, the most alive I have felt since living here in Ecuador. 

This morning I walked in through front door of the church, Genesis 7, and greeted Laura as always with a "Buenos días Laurita! Como le fue?" She looked up from scrubbing one of her massive pots, sleeves rolled up, hair in the way, but a lovely smile on her face. "Buenos días Ely!" I gave her a kiss on the cheek and moved over to the counter where I set down my things.  I then handed her the bag of arroz (rice) that had been donated from my church in the North. "Muchas gracias Ely!" 

As soon as she had wiped her hands off, we left the church to visit the neighborhood tienda (store) in order to buy some meat and vegetables for today's meal.  I have been using donations from the church to help buy food each day for the kids. For a meal that feeds 100 children I have spent between 15$ and 30$ per day. Although that seems so little in feeding 100 kids, many times the church cannot afford even this and end up feeding the kids with whatever they have on hand at the time, which could be only rice or noodles. Only recently have we been able to inform our church about their situation and a few have started helping with donations.  But there is still so much opportunity to help in so many different ways!

As soon as Laura had sifted through the vegetables, looking for what seemed fresh to her, and we had paid the owner, we headed back to the church.  While we were gone, the two widows that help every day with the cooking had arrived.  Both elderly and living in impoverished situations of their own, they come to help in the morning and eat the meal afterwards.  Both bring so much joy and laughter to the center!  Today we all sat around a table peeling vegetables, all happily chatting about family, food, stories, every day life, etc... Every once and a while, I would chime into the conversation, but for the most part I remained quietly listening to the rapid, tennis-like interaction, picking up my interpretation of what was being said. 

So the question we have all been waiting for - Am I fluent at Spanish?  Claro que si!  Well not quite...  Within a group context, I still feel as lost as before.  But I am continually amazed at how I have been able to have one-on-one conversations with individuals on about pretty much every topic you can think of - everything from my life back in the states, to why God allows bad things to happen - all in Spanish!  More than anything, I feel like I have positioned myself in such a way that I am pursuing this growing passion in my heart.  This is something that I am realizing I will have to fight for, but it's so worth it!

Back to my story... The kids started showing up at 12:30, while the soup was still boiling on the stove and the smell of spices and meat floated out of the kitchen.  "Hola Ely!"  A handful of kids ran into my arms, giggling as they gave me huge hugs with their little arms and kisses on the cheek.  I greeted each of them as they came in, asking them how their day was, poking the more mischievous ones, making faces with the little ones and complimenting the older girls on their hair or outfits.

Once they had all arrived and had packed their little bodies into the small room, Laura had me lead the kids in their favorite song, accompanied with lots of crazy hand motions.  Then I lead them in a simple prayer with my limited Spanish, them repeating after me.  Afterwards, they all lined up to receive their meal for the day, the older ones helping the younger ones.  I stood behind the counter and handed them a little yellow cup of juice and and a big bowl of rice, vegetables and meat. After quickly clearing their plates, they systematically lined up to wash their plates. I have enjoyed using this time to play with some of the younger ones or chat with some of the older ones in between cleaning up. 

Today as I talked with one of the girls who is 13, just about life and school, I noticed a pretty necklace that she was wearing.  It was a two piece heart.  I had just commented on how pretty it was, when she took off her necklace and handed me the second half of the heart that made up this friendship charm.  I honestly did not know what to say.  In my hands I held a little tiny piece of a heart, inscribed with words of friendship, and I knew that this girl had just done something so much bigger than just offer me a trinket.  This gift of hers pretty much sums up what all of the children have done - they have left pieces of their hearts with me and I find myself with hundreds of pieces of hearts now piled up inside of mine. I am overwhelmed with a love for these kids who have so little.  They truly are hungry for so much more than the food we feed them every day.  They are hungry for love.  Many of them live in broken families.  Some are forced to work every day to help their families make 6$ for the day.  There is one family of 5 kids whose mother is a known prostitution in the community. There have been girls who have been taken from the community and never seen again.  Most of them are fortunate enough to go to school in the mornings, but in reality, they don't have hope for a future.  Their lives will probably end up like their parents lives.  How can my heart not belong to these children?  How can I not answer the cry that is screaming out to me?  They need someone to commit their heart to fully love them.  I know I can only do so much, but I have left my "immersion trip" with such a strong desire to do as much as I can do.  I am not sure what this will look like, but I am willing to fight for it whatever it may be!                                            
                                       

A Dream Within a Dream

Before I head off to church this morning, I need to make sure I don't forget my toothbrush, my water bottle, or my money for the week.  Why, you might wonder.  I am about to take a trip within this trip.  Something like a dream within a dream.  Except this is reality.  I will not let my dreams be dreams.  There must come a time when desire, vision, urgency, and honestly whatever it takes to push me over the fence of a good idea into the world of seizing every opportunity.

These past few months I have been growing so much - adjusting to an entirely new culture, stepping into leadership positions, growing in communication and relationships, etc...  But I have continued to have this gnawing dissatisfaction with my ability to communicate within the Spanish language.  I know that I am Leaps and Bounds ahead of where I was just 2 months ago, but in my heart, I know I am not on the track that I want to be on.  This is mostly due to the fact that my current living situation is with other English speakers.  It's just so easy to revert to the language that where everyone can understand each other.  We have all been putting forth our best effort on a daily basis: reading books in Spanish, watching Spanish TV/Movies, Spanish lessons, listening to Spanish music, etc...  But all of this can only take you so far.

A week ago I sat down with the Lord and had a long discussion.  As I sat in my room with heavy tears spilling down my face, I had to ask, "God, why am I so emotional about this?!"  He began to remind me one of my biggest dream in signing up for this internship - I really, REALLY want to learn this beautiful language.  It's been my dream since being a little girl.  And it has not been my main focus in being here.  He began to speak to my heart that this is not just a little dream that has to be pushed to the side to make way for ministry.  Ministry is life.  My life is ministry.  Ministry should not push any other dreams out of the picture.  Therefore, God is giving me full grace to pursue this dream that burns within my heart.

Sooooo... it began with a simple thought as I rode in the bus a week ago.  "What if I left?  What if I completely removed myself from all English and lived a Spanish life for a couple weeks?  That's probably not long enough, but maybe, just maybe it would be the push I need to get on the right track of realizing this dream of mine."  With everything built up inside of me, I was just crazy enough to make this more than just a thought, to see if this could really happen.  So I talked with my amazing mentor, and within a couple days she texted me, "I found your family.  They're ready for you on Sunday!"  Really?!  Oh, OK, here we go then!

So for the next 10 days I will be living with a family in the South part of Quito - very far removed from my current home and ALL English, as they do not speak my language.  During the day, I will be working at a BEAUTIFUL feeding center, called Genesis 7.  This ministry has been running for 15 years.  I mentioned the pastors of this center in an earlier post (The God we serve) - Fausto and his wife.  They have been feeding over 100 children everyday for these 15 years, many of whom this meal is their only meal for the day, and who live on the streets or in very poor conditions.  The beauty of God's favor and grace on this ministry is overwhelming.  I am so excited to be able to help out with the beautiful ladies that cook for the kids, to learn from their example of servanthood, and to spend time with all 100 of the beautiful, smiling, Ecuadorian faces that have already captured my heart.  Did I mention how beautiful this is to me?

It's crazy how much excitement and peace I feel in this moment.  I know I am about to take a pretty big risk - for me anyway.  But I feel the Lord all over this decision and I KNOW that His grace will cover me in this time.  Please pray for the supernatural ability to retain the language, to speak it with confidence, and to enjoy the process along the way!

La Familia

During the 2 years that I was in ministry school, I was constantly hearing the message on "Family."  "Have mothers and fathers in your life who can speak wisdom and counsel into you and challenge you to be the best you you can be."  "Have community around you who are pouring into you, strengthening you, calling you out, and running with you."  "Don't try to do life or ministry on your own, you will burn out!"  And my spirit has always resonated with this message.  The Lord has graciously lead me through process after process of learning how to truly live within family - how to go from independency to inter-dependency, how to become vulnerable and weak with others, to believe in myself as worthy of being poured into and believed in, etc...

But family is not something that can be achieved or a place to which you can arrive.  Family is not just a happy concept.  You can learn all about family, gain all the tools, and fully believe in family.  But if that is all there is to it, you will constantly need the perfect environment for your family to survive.  If it is anything but an ideal situation, it will shrivel up and die.  Family is so much more.  Family is a value that must first be established in your heart and then it is a culture that you must cultivate and fight for wherever your current situation in life may be.

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately on this whole issue of family.  It has been something that has been stirring in my heart since being here in Ecuador.  I honestly didn't anticipate it to be one of my focuses this year, or something that the Lord would be teaching me about.  I anticipated to be growing in things like how to do ministry, or how to fully love "the one" in front of me.  These things I have most definitely been growing in as well, but the Lord has been showing me that doing ministry and loving on people HAS to be done within the context of family.

I have been working with one of the most incredible families I have ever met.  The Toledos came to Ecuador from Guatemala as missionaries - to start a church and whatever else the Lord might call them to do.  For over 20 years they have sown into a country that is not their own as if it was their own.  They raised their kids here, established their lives here, built life-long relationships here, ministered here and given everything to love the people here.  Now that their kids are all grown, they are all able to share in this beautiful family unit of life and ministry.  Ministry is a way of life, it is not a separate entity.  And it is always done within the context of their family.

Luis & Maria Tersa Toledo
And their 2 grandkids - Paz & Elias

Sabri & Mela

Simply stated, the Toledos do life really well, both ministry and family.  And I am beginning to realize that when those two entities are married together, there is an overflow and an abundance of life.  The more time I spend with this family, the more my heart is stirred to cultivate this marriage in my own life.  I don't want to merely participate in a family or slide into the place that is open for me.  I want it to be something that I carry in my heart and something I create wherever I go.  Where I am right now, there is no easy way to slide into a family or community.  I don't speak the language.  I am far removed from everything that is comfortable and familiar.  It is not the ideal setting for building relationships.  But family is worth fighting for.  It is worth paying the price.  And I am realizing that ministry flows freely from that place of family.

This past weekend my cousin Rachel came to Ecuador to visit me!  It was a whirlwind of a trip, as she was here for only 3 full days, but the time that she spent with me was pure ministry to my heart.  I had so much fun doing the "tourist" thing with Ray.  We blew way too much money at the market, toured the city at night, fell in love with hot chocolate and cheese, rode horses in the mountains, and hung out with the girls at the prison.  But simply having genuine quality time with someone I dearly love, left me with greater desire in my heart.  Having a piece of my family here definitely made me miss home, but more than that, it gave me an urgency to fight for family right where I'm at.

Hacienda Pachamama

Rachel & Me en el Mercado

I know that the Lord has called me to Ecuador not only to pour myself out in ministry while I'm here, but He also wants to equip me for the life ahead of me.  I know that I am going to be doing ministry the rest of my life - it's just who I am.  So while I'm here, it is my heart to experience family and ministry done simultaneously in a healthy way.

Blurb of my journey...

I have always had a heart for justice.  I feel like my story is similar to so many others - I've heard the stories, seen the statistics, seen the faces, encountered God's heart of compassion, and become undone so many times with a desire to fight for justice on the earth.  But to be honest, actually knowing where to go from there stopped the momentum of my heart.  It just seems so big!  Yes, I believe God can use me in spite of all my weaknesses and feelings of inadequacy; but how can I fight in an army if I don't even know where to enlist?  Because of this, I put many of those dreams and desires on the shelf, thinking it was for "another time."  "One day God will use me to fight injustices."  "Sometime in the distant future I will get vision for what I can do."

Needless to say, when I was presented with the opportunity to actually be on the ground level, working with victims of injustice, I was scared out of my mind.  That dream had felt so safe from a good distance away.  But now I had to make a decision - Am I willing to go after the things the Lord has put on my heart?  Or am I content having the dreams and prophetic words written on note-cards for me to pull out every once in a while in order to stir up my spirit?  Am I willing to let prophetic words make me feel good about myself, or will I let them move me to action?

I love how raising awareness on social justice issues has swept across the States.  It is so powerful for people to really see what is going on in our world.  But when are we going to go past the "raising awareness" stage?  We love being inspired.  Those inspirational movies that move you to tears, stir up your spirit, and make you think, "Yes!  I can change the world," often rise to the tops of the charts.  Why?  We all want to know that we could actually make a difference in this world.  We want to know that we have purpose.  But so often, once those strong emotions simmer down, we let ourselves off the hook by the comforting thought that someone else is out there doing it.  Or, like me, we consent to waiting until the perfect opportunity to be dropped into our laps.  When will God's people decide to not sit around waiting for an opportunity to arise, but decide to BE God's justice and fight for others?

There is not a lack of opportunity.  Even with the internship I am now apart of here in Ecuador, we have never been waiting for an opportunity to minister.  Ministry is everywhere we go.  I have been blown away at how when we say yes to the things that God has put in our hearts, He is so faithful to open doors and release crazy favor.  I expected for hard labor and months of sowing before we were able to reap any fruit, but the harvest is plentiful NOW!  Lives are being radically transformed everywhere we go.  This is our time to say Yes to the burning in our hearts.  Let the God of the harvest send you out!

The God We Serve

How great is the God we serve?  How is it that He could be so concerned about the one who is dying in a hospital bed that He would move mountains just to touch them, when there are countless people in their own death beds all over the world?  Would He really leave the 99 to restore the one?  Our streets are full of faces, all who have their own stories of brokenness, pain, poverty, injustice.  But our God is not overwhelmed or intimidated by such immeasurable depravity.  He is never so preoccupied by the numbers that He would fail to stop for the one.

This past week I encountered this God that would move mountains for the one.  Our team drove through the winding streets of Quito, passing by the buildings, the faces, the traffic, the scenery that I have come to love.  But none of that was on my mind.  We were headed to one of Quito's government run hospitals, used for those who are unable to pay for hospital visits, to pray for a pastor friend who was sick with cancer.  During our drive to the hospital we spent time contending for Pastor Fausto's healing, stirring up our hearts in expectation.  I could feel the doubt drain out of the car as we made declarations as daughters of the Most High King.  We will not put up with injustice!  We claim our inheritance that was fully paid for at the cross!  In that moment, all I really knew was hope.  However, I was unaware of what the situation fully entailed.

We stepped into the crowded hospital.  So many people waiting - waiting in their seats, waiting in stand-still lines, waiting behind desks, waiting behind doors.  It didn't take us long to find who we were looking for, Pastor Fausto's beautiful wife, Lilianna.  Right away I recognized her face.  I had met this couple before when I had come in the spring.  They run a feeding program for kids in the South of Quito, where the poorest of the city live.  For many of these kids, it is their only meal a day.  And they are many.  Over 100 of the same children come... every day.  The Fausto family has been serving these children every day for the past 7 years, no vacation, no sabbatical from years of hard work.  On days when they haven't had enough food, their own family has given up their own meals instead.  When I came in the spring, I was so impacted by their lives.  They are the epitome of servanthood.  There is no glory in what they do, it is simply loving children with what they have.  This became for me an incredible example of living a laid down lifestyle, an example that I have gone back to many times over this past year.  

And here she stood, this woman who has given everything for the sake of love, now in one of the most difficult kinds of crisis that any person can possibly face.  I could see the exhaustion in her face, yet the evident strength, as she told us that her husband was in his last stages, according to the doctors.  Mountain number one.

As we followed her through the crowded hallways, Mela explained to me that it is nearly impossible to get visitors into the hospital rooms.  Because it is a government run hospital, it is highly regulated.  If you are lucky, you can get one visitor in, but you have to go through paperwork and get special permission.  And there were five of us, three being Americans.  On top of that, this hospital had been known to be specifically closed to people who wanted to pray.  Mountain number two.

But no matter how many mountains or how big the mountain is, our God is able.  As we hurried to keep up with Lili, we were each praying for favor, an open door, anything so that we could get into pray.  Lili found a guard and told him what she wanted to do.  He told her that he would have to talk to the head of that floor.  We followed him up to our floor.  Within moments he came back to us - "You have 5 minutes."  We couldn't believe it!  This was unheard of!  But there we were, inside the hospital room, with Dear Pastor Fausto there in his bed, smiling at each of us with that unexplainable joy that marks those who carry the everlasting hope.

As soon as we had each given him a kiss on the cheek and a gentle embrace, we began to contend for his life.  The moment we began, Holy Spirit was present.  We released life, we bound the spirit of death, we declared the power of our King, we spoke words of the Father's heart over his life.  It was incredibly beautiful to watch God's spirit minister to this couple who had given their entire lives to Him.  In the midst of such incredible injustice and suffering, the both of them sat there lifting up worship to their Savior, thanking Him for His faithfulness in their lives.  I held on to Pastor Fausto's hand and as I did, my heart was moved at how steadfast these hands had been to love the poor and the orphans.  Even though this revelation was so simple, it ignited something inside of me.  I could feel God's love and pleasure for this man's life.  It overwhelmed my entire being.  Nothing could stop the emotion that rushed the gates of my heart.  My heart broke and I wept, not in despair, but in such a love and hope that I cannot explain.

After 15-20 minutes our guard finally cut off our time.  We had just witnessed an impossible 5 minutes turn into an encounter with the power and love of our God.  He had moved mountains to touch the one man who lay dying in his hospital bed.  This is the God we serve.  He is so much better than we could ever imagine.  His love overcomes every obstacle.  His power overcomes all of our inabilities.  He is a Father.  And we are His kids.  He will do everything to remind us of that truth.

We have not heard anything yet of how Pastor Fausto is doing.  But we are fully believing for a miracle, a complete healing.  Please pray with me for justice to be released and life to be restored! 

Five foot ten and blonde - No place to hide!

A month into this crazy adventure and I am trying to find my way around in this beautiful culture.  Every day I pray, "Jesus I want to know Spanish soooo badly!  Help me in my weakness."  It's not that I can't communicate - we have so many people around us who speak English.  I just really want to be apart of this culture.  I don't want to be the forever American who gets by with limited language abilities.  We have been taking spanish classes 4 times a week which is very helpful.  On top of that, I have been trying to read books in spanish, watch movies (lion king, 101 dalmatians, finding nemo...) in spanish, pray in spanish, even think in spanish.  Whatever it takes!  I know that I am growing each day, it's just not as microwave-ably fast as I would like.

Ecuador vs. Chile!!!

So there's my frustration.  That aside, I have been having so many cultural experiences.  Last night I went to my first real South American soccer game!  It was a pretty big match - Ecuador vs. Chile in a preliminary game for the 2014 World Cup.  I must say, South Americans are extremely passionate about their soccer.  The constant singing and dancing, balloons flying everywhere, the sea of yellow, blue and red, and the shower of beer over everything after every goal was a sight to behold.  Fortunately, Ecuador won 3-1, otherwise I would have been afraid for my life.

Other cultural experiences have included (but are not limited to) having a dance instructor come to our house to teach us salsa dancing, learning the bus system through many missed stops and having to run, push, and hold on for dear life, exploring the streets of downtown, getting locked out of our home with no way to contact our family, and trying to find safe places to go on jogs.  I must say, even with my deep desire to be apart of this culture there are some conspicuous things that I simply cannot change.  Being 5' 10", having long blonde hair, fair skin and blue eyes makes it nearly impossible to blend into the crowd.  Most of the time I am oblivious to the attention I draw, but there have been plenty of times when it has been impossible to ignore.  I've been thinking about buying a hat...

Beautiful Down Town

We have also been getting more and more vision for the ministry here.  It is taking time, but I am more than happy to give myself to this process.  We decided to give up teaching at the school because of how it was taking away from our focus on the ministry.  However, the last day Lynda was able to lead one of her students from the senior class to the Lord!  What an awesome way to end our time at the school.  We also were able to pray and prophesy over the director of the school, calling forth the children as world changers, and encouraging her in her role as an influencer to the students.

On Wednesday we had the opportunity of speaking at a non-Christian school.  We had a connection there with one of the teachers and they opened the doors for us to share with the kids whatever it was that God put on our hearts to share.  We spoke to 2 groups - the middle schoolers and the high schoolers - all together about 120 students.  All three of us felt like we were to talk about the Father heart of God and what it means to be a son or daughter.  We each were able to share from our own testimonies.  It was beautiful how each of our stories flowed into each another and presented a different aspect of God's love.  To be honest, I wasn't sure if we could expect much response - these were teenagers and most of them were unchurched.  We were told that many of them came from broken families and were normally cynical when other people shared any kind of hope with them.  So all this to say, I was blown away when I asked if there was anyone who wanted to experience the Father's love and more than half of the room stood to their feet.  It's hard to even describe what I felt in that moment as we helped these kids ask to receive the love of God.  Hands were extended as if to receive a gift, eyes were closed in sincerity, and soft ripples of weeping were heard throughout the room.  Afterwards, we got to hold some of the ones who were profoundly touched as they continued to weep.  Some of the kids came up to us and told us that even though they didn't believe in God, they felt love like a heat inside of their hearts.  I was undone!

Amigos!

It is so encouraging to really see the truth of this statement - "Everyone wants a king like Jesus!"  People are so ready to encounter real love.  Everyone is longing for relationship with the Father.  Most people don't realize that they have that deep desire, but it is inside of everyone.  We were created for intimacy!  So when people experience the love of God, they can't help but respond.  I know that ministry often looks like being faithful to push forward even in the dry seasons, when there is no fruit and hardly any response.  But I also can't help but believe in the God of the suddenly moments.  I truly believe that the harvest is plentiful.  For me and my team, I feel that it is a matter of leaning into the Spirit and finding where it is that He is calling us to be laborers in the field.  I know it can be anywhere, but I also know that He is strategic with purpose in everything He does.  So send us out God!

From inside a museum

20 days and counting.  Since the last time I wrote we - all three of us gringas -  have moved homes.  We were previously living in a home that was 45 minutes out of the city.  As we began to see what our weekly activities are going to be, it became more and more apparent that we wanted to live in a place that would be more centrally located.  So our wonderful leader Sabri found us a home to live in that is right in the middle of the city.  Talk about another level of immersion!

The city of Quito is an artist's palette - so many textures, shades of colors, mixtures and combinations.  Some of it detailed and ornate, some abstract, some foreign and obscure, but all so beautiful.  I feel like my 5 senses are in overload as I take in my new surroundings.  The fragrant and pungent smells of so many different kinds of fruits, meats, vegetables, and fried foods as we walk through a local market.  Being pressed against countless strangers as we fight for a place within the bus.  The sound of an entire class of 5th graders playfully chatting in their language as they also pile onto the bus.  The honking of cars driving by and the city fumes in our faces as Lynda and I jog for the first time in the city, trying not to get run over by aggressive taxi drivers.

First meal in our new casa

As for the house we are now living in - it is the beautiful home of a couple, Roberto and Mari, in the adjacent grandmother apartment.  I must say, our apartment has the most character of any home I have ever been in.  It belonged to Roberto's mother who passed away this past year, and it is easy to see that this woman was not a simple lady.  The house is full of books, antiques, quirky utensils, secret passageways, mysterious locked closets, and more paintings than you can count.  It is an enormous living space with three bedrooms, 2 living rooms, an enormous kitchen and a dining room with a beautiful grand piano.  My favorite part, however, is that either the mother or someone else in the family had an obsession with animals.  I literally feel like I am living in a museum.  Every corner you turn in the house you are met by another snarling animal head, mounted at eye level.  We have yet to name our new pets, but that is forthcoming.  Also, part of the personality of the house is the German influence.  Both of Roberto's parents came from Germany, so everything within the house has that beautiful European flavor.  Each day we are getting to know our house a little better and discovering new treasures.  I'm pretty sure each room could be in an I Spy book!

The beautiful ladies I work with

This past week we have visited some of the places that we are going to invest a lot of time into this year.  On Monday we went to a girl's youth prison, where girls ages 13-18, who have been convicted of various crimes, live for 4-6 months.  And Tuesday we went to a foundation for girls, the same age, who have been rescued out of prostitution and live there for 6 months.  There was a team here from the states who, at each place, did a skit for the girls and then talked about how God has created them perfectly and without flaw, that He has created them to be beautiful.  Afterwards we did an "Extreme Makeover" where we gave them each a dress, did their hair and make up and painted their fingernails.  These girls truly were beautiful!  You could tell that for some, this was truly healing, to be touched, to have their hair brushed, and to have people looking at them with love.  But it was so hard to see so many of them look at themselves in the mirror and then use a clothe to wipe off all the makeup, or to hear them say how shameful they felt.  You can see that these girls need so much more than a one time event where they get primped and pampered.  They need a steady voice in their lives that speaks truth into who they are, and to have a real love encounter with the Father.  I am so excited that we will be spending time with these girls every week and actually have the opportunity to be God's love to them.

On Tuesday we also went to a boy's youth prison.  There we spent time worshipping and then praying for healing - physically, spiritually and emotionally.  It was amazing to see many of these boys respond with sincerity as they stood for healing for their hearts, or a desire to have the protection of the Father.  I got the opportunity to pray with my friend Debbie over this one guy.  She got a word for him that he had given up on God, but that God had not given up on him.  I had an impression that he was feeling squeezed or suffocated by certain things in his life, but God wanted to bring him freedom.  He told us that yes, he had stopped trying to follow God and that he was feeling completely suffocated in his life.  We prayed for him to get free from whatever that was.  Afterwards he was like, "I am ready to follow God, I feel peace, etc..."  It's amazing to see how hungry these kids are and open to the Father's embrace.  Again, I can't wait to be able to spend time with these boys and see God's purposes unfold.

Prayer Updates for you amazing Prayer Warriors whom I love dearly!
- Grace to daily grow in the language.
- Strategies and Ideas on how to really reach the hearts of the people we are ministering to.  Specifically the children and youth.
- Favor and open doors wherever we go.
- Continual financial provision.  I'm having to come up with $700 a month for living.
- And as always, more of God's love in and through me, to break chains and release people into their destinies.

Thank you all!

Sink or swim, preferably swim.

Immersion...

What a wonderful concept.  When this word is spoken, immediately our minds elicit pictures of diving head first into a body of water.  We think of synonymous words like engulfed, submerged, saturated, etc...  Or maybe we think of immersion in terms of what we are giving of ourselves - like being immersed in some job or activity, being so fully preoccupied with something that you think of nothing else.  Becoming lost in what you are doing.  Giving a hundred and ten percent.  Being are fully committed.

But before you are thrown into a completely foreign culture, these thoughts, concepts, pictures and what have you, can only take you so far in preparing.  When you actually taste of full-on immersion, you realize it is so much more in real life.

This is what I have come to realize about immersion in the short time that I have been here in Ecuador...  There is no way out once you have been immersed.  There is not the option of testing the waters and deciding whether or not you are ready to swim.  It is to watch the last boat sail away into the distance as you stand on a deserted island.  It is not conditional based on how much you think you can handle.  I think as an American, this is incredibly different.  We are so used to having finding the easy route if we think something is too difficult.  We are used to having the ability to choose how much we want to give to something.  But once you are truly immersed, those comforts are no longer at the tips of your fingers.

And I have found that immersion affects so much more than what I was anticipating.  It is shifting EVERYTHING from the way I am used to living, to an entirely new way of living.  It is changing not only the way I speak, but the way I think, the way I interact with people, the way I eat, my habits, my normal living activities, etc...  And it's not easy.  Everything is process.  I cannot take swimming lessons in a baby pool and then expect to be a pro once I get thrown into the middle of the ocean.

But it's worth it!  It's so worth working for.  As every day goes by I become more and more determined to learn how to live in this culture and to adjust my "norm".  I do NOT want to go through my time here fighting against the things that I am not used to.  I want to embrace the beauty of this entire experience!

And it has been beautiful!  Honestly, even though it is difficult and I get frustrated at how much I still have to learn, my favorite moments so far have been the I-have-no-idea-what-is-going-on-and-have-no-way-to-figure-it-out kind of moments.  I find myself in the middle of situations where I feel like I watching some sport that has never been explained to me.  I so enjoy watching the interactions between people, the expressiveness, the rapid "everyone speaking at once", and the laughter.  I understand some phrases here and there, but honestly have no grasp on what is being said.  And then there is freak out moment when some comment is directed at me and I realize that everyone is waiting for me to respond. Yes!  Even though it's scary, it has been so fun pushing myself in these situations and than laughing with others when I completely blow it.

Yes, immersion is a beautiful thing and I am so excited to get to be in the very center of it right now.  So far this has been some of the faces of immersion these past couple of weeks...

Filming a promo for "Casa Mis Sueños".

Ecuadorian Zumba in the park. Yes they are laughing at us!

The beautiful 5th graders I have had the pleasure of working with.

Baking for a women's conference this weekend.

So it begins...

"Happy Day 5," my dear house mate Lynda said as we sat squished together in the back of a taxi this morning.  Is it really only the fifth day that I'm here.  Absolutely crazy!  With everything that has happened during the time that I have been here, and with the level of exhaustion that I have hit, it feels more like I have been here for a month.  I didn't expect that, having been here once before, but this time is different, this time I am re-learning how to live.  I'm not being given a week's itinerary and mentally preparing for a grueling 2 weeks of mission work.  I am being presented with my life for the next 9 months and having to prepare for adjusting my entire life.  It's incredible!

First of all, my mind has been on a perpetual treadmill on the highest speed setting, trying to keep up with the language while taking in everything new in my environment.  I absolutely love being daily pushed in my Spanish!  Coming in, I was so nervous about speaking, but it's so natural to throw myself out there even when I am completely mutilating what I am trying to say.  I have laughed more, talked about more interesting and ridiculous topics, and fallen more in love with this beautiful language than ever before.  This week we started having our lovely Spanish teacher come to our house.  It's been fun working on the language in a classroom setting again, but honestly, I have been growing more around our kitchen table, talking with the maids - Rosa and Patricia - and the Abuela (Grandma) - Made.  We over exaggerate words, frequently give each other confused looks, and after much work and laughter we eventually understand what is trying to be said.  So fun!

The two other girls that I am living with and interning with are Carly and Lynda.  I am absolutely honored to be working with two of the most incredible women I have ever met.  Both of them are from Alaska.  I did 2nd year with Lynda where we met on a ministry trip and later got to know each other while on our missions trip to Ecuador in the spring.  Carly did BSSM a year before me and was in LA this past year, working with Jenn Toledo and her ministry in the States.  She also was on the trip in the spring.  It has been so good having these ladies with me!  Even in the short amount of time that I have been here, it has been such a relief to have people to process with especially being introduced to so many new things.

As far as the internship goes, this week has been a crash-course, introducing us to many of the things we will be involved in.  Most of the work that we will be doing as interns will be done alongside our official 3rd year mentor, Sabri and her sister, Mela.  Again, I could not ask for two more incredible women to work under and learn from.  It is so beautiful to see the hearts these women have for what they do.  The love that they have for the nation of Ecuador is absolutely contagious.  I listen to them talk to us and I can feel my heart just expanding with love, vision, passion, hope, etc...  I cannot wait to work with these women!  Mela will be working full time on "Casa Mis Sueños," the safe house they are opening for girls who have been sexually abused and/or trafficked.  (I will write in detail about the vision and the work we are doing there when I have more time.)  So we will be working alongside Mela with anything that has to do with the house.  And then we will be working with Sabri in most everything else we are doing... youth prisons, feeding center, church home groups, etc...  As far as right now, we don't exactly know what we will be doing on a regular basis, but I think it's going to be one of those things that will worked out with time.

And finally, we will be working at a small Christian immersion school as English teachers.  We went on Wednesday for our first day - my experience... Ay ay ay!!!  Talk about culture shock.  We were completely thrown in without any explanation on how things work, training on how to teach, or forewarning as far as what was expected of us.  I have been assigned to a 5th grade class, which is students ages 8-9, and I will be with them all day.  There is a head teacher, but she would sporadically come up to me, hand me the text book, and say, "OK you teach this to them in English."  This is an immersion school, so they teach all their classes partially in English, but most of the kids in my class only know a few basic sentences.  The fact that she wanted me to teach science, math, social studies, etc... simply because I speak English, was simply overwhelming.  The first couple of times she did this to me, I just stared back at her having no idea what she wanted me to do.  In my mind - "This is literally being thrown into something where I have NO qualifications, but OK."  I did my best and hoped that was what the teacher was wanting me to do.  I still have no idea!  And then there were a few times where they put me into a "speaking" class, without any other teacher, and just told me to "speak."  "Ummm... OK."  Lord Jesus give me grace!  But the kids are wonderful!  They are completely precious and so loving.  Every single one of them stole my heart, and it is a privilege to speak into their lives.  We've been told that the school directors want us to be sowing into the spiritual atmosphere as well, so it will be interesting seeing what the Lord does there.  I'm sure I will have PLENTY of stories through this entire experience.

There is so much more I could share, but at this point my brain is having a hard enough time with everything else to be really able to write everything in my heart.  I have posted new prayer requests on my prayer page at the top, so check it out!
Blessings!

Fly Me Away

Where to begin?  

My body may be sitting in seat 27C on my last connecting flight to Quito, Ecuador, but my mind seems to be in a hundred different places at once.  These past couple of weeks have been a whirlwind of coffee-dates, shopping trips, endless lists, "yes", "no" and "maybe" piles of clothes, and all the last minute tasks that always end up taking more than a minute.  And yet, in the midst of what would appear to be preparedness and great organization, every other minute I would find myself in a "Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh, I can't believe this is happening" breakdown moment.  

"Deep breaths, Ellie, deep breaths."  "Jesus, HELP ME!  I don't even know what to do with myself."  "How on earth do I put my life into a suitcase?  I'm not going to be able to do it!"

To tell the truth, it probably took twice as long getting everything done because of these moments.  I would just be getting into the flow of packing everything, then that moment would sneak up on me and it would be over.  A tea break would soon follow where I would try to focus my mind on something else.

But Jesus was so good to me throughout this time.  Even though my mind would take these turbulent turns, my heart felt oddly at peace.  Never for a minute did I wonder whether or not I was doing the right thing.  Never for a minute did I questioned what He has spoken to me.  I most definitely have had fears surface left and right, but I continually had a sense of His grace covering me, giving me the ability to trust His supreme goodness.

This leads me to the few things that He has been speaking to me about my upcoming journey.
1)  In one word - Trust.  I love the plan: having vision for where I’m going, praying into that vision, preparing myself according to what the vision is, etc...  But every time I have tried to bring up the plan, the Holy Spirit has changed the subject.  Lord, why?!  He has been showing me that often times, my desire for the plan has actually been trust in something other than the Holy Spirit leading me.  He wants to take me into crazy situations where the only way there is a victorious outcome is if I trust and rely fully on Him.  That will not be possible if even a small portion of my heart still clings to my strength and what I am able to accomplish.  I have to trust me relationship with Him.  I have to trust that I hear His voice.  I have to trust that He is all sufficient.

2)  This is a season to take initiative for the things in my heart.  I was struck the other day at how often we get good ideas; those “we should’s,” “wouldn’t it be fun’s” and “one day I want to’s.”  And then quickly those ideas float into our minds and then float out.  They hardly ever take root, or at best, end up on a bucket-list.  The Lord has challenged me, what would happen if I just went after those things that “randomly” pop into my mind or conversation?  What if I stepped past the dreaming stage and stepped into action?  I am sensing that while I am in Ecuador, I will be having many unique opportunities, but many of them will only happen if I stop waiting for them to happen to me and actually do something about them.


So here I am, an hour and a half away from the beginning of one of the most radical things I have ever found myself doing.  Bless the Lord!

The Sufficiency of Love

I was thinking back today to one of our outreaches in Mozambique. I remember how we had come, packed in the back of trucks, to this small village to peach the gospel of Jesus. For the first hour or two we had broken out into a massive African dance party with singing and shouting and excessive arm motions.

When it got too dark to see anyone, we played the Jesus film on a giant screen. Half way through the film the sound system stopped working, so we resorted to plan B... pray for the sick. Now I think as Westerners we think of missions and praying for the sick as this beautifully orchestrated and holy moment; all attention will be on the preacher and once the call goes out for healing, the sick will, one by one, come forward for prayer and God will supernaturally come through. That fairy tale was about to shrivel before my eyes...

The team stood backed up against one of the trucks as the masses pushed forward. Utter chaos was taking place and there was no possible way to pull things together. Everyone was talking over each other, pulling on you, pushing you, pushing others... I remember thinking, "this can't be right! People should be lining up for prayer. They are hurting each other just to get to us! I don't even know if they need prayer for healing. Half of them seem to be mocking us. And how am I supposed to pray for anyone? There's no way I can possibly get to a translator!"

In that moment I was faced with a question... Is love really enough?

We always talk about God's love being enough for every situation. But when you have hundreds of sets of starving, black eyes fixed on you for the solution to their problems, you begin to question what you REALLY believe. These people had no other options. They couldn't go to the hospital if our prayers didn't work. They couldn't just take some pain killers. Then you began to wonder, what do I have to give? In the face of that kind of need, when you are stripped from all sense of organization and control, you truly realize how insufficient you are. It's raw. It's real. And it's scary.

That night didn't end with some crazy miracle where everyone got healed and saved. There were some who got healed, but more than anything, I walked away with the question still burning in my heart - Is love really enough? Everyday we stare into another set of eyes or another scary situation where God's love HAS to be enough. Even if there seems to be other options, they are only good for a short time until the true need is exposed. At the very foundation of everything, if God's love isn't enough, there is no hope for this world. We can never be sufficient in our own strength or ability.

And now, as my adventure in Ecuador begins in less than a month, I think about that question again - Is love really enough? I cling to the truth, that it IS enough. It's what's holding me together when I think of how little I have to offer in of myself. Maybe I'm not qualified by the world's standards. But His love has qualified me.