Canyon

On my trip back to Colorado I decided to finally pick up the book I have been meaning to read since I bought it almost a year ago - Not For Sale: The Return of the Global Slave Trade and How We Can Fight It.  I bought this book while I was working in the heat of this world, working with girls rescued out of sex slavery.  But even as I am now living in America, this injustice beats in my heart.

Before I started I asked Jesus this simple request - Let this book impact me as if I were hearing about this outrage for the first time.  Let this not be old news to me!  And as I began to read, I got caught up in the outrage of this sick reality.  My heart broke once again for the little girls locked in brothels all over the world, for the women who despair for lack of any other options, for the men who are enslaved by the spirit of lust, and for this lost and broken world.

I would read a little portion of my book and then stare out from my window seat, lost in deep reveries.  It was during one of those moments that my meditation on slavery crossed paths with the scenic view beneath me.  The plane was flying over the huge, barren desert of Nevada.  It was dry.  It was lifeless.  It was stark.  The canyons that etched deep paths through the desert spoke loudly to me.  And I quickly jotted down these words. 

Injustice has become a canyon in my heart.  
Story after story, like a steady stream, 
injustice carves it's way through the recesses of my soul 
until the profundity of the crevices 
become too deep to ever smooth over.

How can I ever ignore the wailing of the wind
that blows through these canyons?
How could these colossal canyon walls 
ever become invisible to my eyes?
They mark me.
They ravage my conscience.
They wreak my existence.

There is no place to safely tuck this reality away;
out of sight, out of mind;
pretending to live in some unpolluted environment.
There is no way that I could ever eliminate
the searing pain of these scars.
But, you know, even if there was a way,
how could I ever choose such a thing?

This pain becomes passion.
The passion becomes fire.
The canyons are fuel.
I know one day this roaring force
will become unstoppable.

There will soon be a river of JUSTICE
that flows through the desert,
bringing life and restoration to the barren land.
I can see the dawn of such a day rising in my heart;
hope calls me onward.
But until that day arrives,
I choose to walk the lonely and painful canyon road.

A Seed to the Nations

I don't even know where to start...

There is hope for this nation.

God is on the move.

I think I more clearly understand why I have been called to the unsuspecting city of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.

Yesterday our Burn team took a tour of the Pennsylvania state capitol building with a woman from our church who knows all the spiritual and religious history of the state and the building.  From the moment we stepped into the building I knew that the Holy Spirit had set us up for this moment.  We were about to have our minds blown.

Even to the common person, who is not even looking for prophetic meaning or anything along those lines, would see the unmistakable marks of Christian heritage that are literally inscribed into the extravagant detail of the capitol building.  But then when one takes the time to slow down and read the writings under each painting and listen to the history that inspired the art, you begin to realize that you are not walking through a strictly political building, but a building that was intended to be a seed of hope for the nation.

I don't know that I have ever encountered so much hope for America as I did while I was "walking through history" yesterday.

Just a brief picture of the insight we received yesterday from our tour guide:

Seeing the life of William Penn

There is a saying, "... as Pennsylvania goes, so goes the nation." Pennsylvania is called the "Keystone" State. The keystone is the stone, at the top of an arch that holds all the other stones together. And so it is in the natural order in the arch of the first 13 colonies, how much more so as the Spiritual Keystone State. For everything in the natural realm is patterned after something in the spiritual. The United States Constitution is modeled after William Penn's First Frame of Government written to establish the "holy experiment" which came to be known as Pennsylvania. Penn had a visitation by God as a young student at Oxford where he got his covenantal vision to create a government that would be a holy example to the nations. After being imprisoned 6 times in England as a prisoner of conscience because he believed you could not wear the crown without honoring the cross, he was sent out of England and given the land that became Pennsylvania where he would plant the holy seed of a nation and write his famous quote engraved in the capitol rotunda today:

"That there be room there for such a Holy Experiment...For the nations want a precedent and My God will make It (Pennsylvania) the Seed of a Nation.... That an example may be set up to the nations... That we may do the thing that is truly wise and just."

 - William Penn

Pennsylvania carries the covenantal root to establish godly government to be a holy example to honor all men and bring freedom and justice for all. The government of Pennsylvania is destined to serve as a holy example, to not only our nation, but to all nations.

(Abbey Abildness - http://www.generals.org/prayer/root-52/prayer-reports/pennsylvania-prayer-guide/)

And Penn's life, message and vision for this holy nation is depicted in countless paintings in the Capitol.  There are paintings of quakers doing baptisms.  There is one of trumpeters releasing a sound from the top of the Capitol as the Israelites did with their shofars.  There is another of angels of light being released to the nations.  And another of the lady of justice standing on the serpent of injustice.

The spirit of light

Justice crushing the serpent

But is was the massive mural in the Senate Chamber that did it for me.  This was probably one of the most beautiful pieces of art I have ever seen, and not because of the technique or style, but because of the spirit that rested upon it.

The entire painting is a vision for what this nation is called to be, and it all comes from Revelation 22:1-2, "And he showed me a pure river of water of life, clear as crystal, proceeding from the throne of God and of the Lamb.  In the middle of its street  and on either side of the river, was the tree of life, which bore twelve fruits, each tree yielding its fruit every month.  The leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations."

The painting depicts the river of life and the fruit being handed down to women, children and victims of injustice.  You can see those in shackles being set free.  You can see the sick dipping into the river.  There are kings casting down their crowns.  There are men with swords beating them into plowshares.  And there are people worshiping at the throne of God.

Revelation 22:1-2

This mural fills the entire Senate Chamber where all of Pennsylvania's legislation is decided upon.  The heartbeat of justice courses through the atmosphere in this room.  It is unmistakable and it is breathtaking.  We all sat in a hushed awe for a few moments, taking in the significance of what we were seeing.  It was like we were standing on holy ground.  Then we began to lift our voices in prayer, calling forth the prophetic destiny of this state and that it would become a seed for the nation.

In that moment, I could feel a holy conviction dropping into my spirit.

What we are doing with the Burn is establishing a center of prayer and worship with a missional, covenantal community here in the city of Harrisburg, where the vision is complete city transformation.  And then what we are building and establishing here will become a model for the global network of communities that have been connecting themselves to the Burn over the past 7 years.  We want to become a hub for the nations to come, be resourced, trained and empowered to replicate this in their own city.  So in essence, we are wanting to become a seed of revival and transformation for the nations.

And unbeknownst to most of us, the prophetic declaration over this land over the past 400 years has been that Pennsylvania would become a seed of liberty to the nations.  What if God has been setting up this land, even before America was a nation, to be a sending place where His Spirit could go out from and bring healing to the nations?

Talk about standing on holy ground.

If this had been all to our tour it would have been enough to send us all reeling, with all of our prophetic sensors going haywire.  But then somehow, I still don't even know, we got into these crazy "backdoor" meetings.

First we met with a State Representative who is working on passing a bill that will put "In God We Trust" back into all the schools in the State of Pennsylvania.  It was incredible seeing his heart for this nation, to see the Church rise up and combat the works of the enemy.  We got to pray over him and release God's grace and favor on his bill.

Then we met with one of the State Senators who is presenting an anti-sex trafficking bill for the State of Pennsylvania.  This man is so Kingdom minded, and has such a compassionate heart to see women and children rescued out of this atrocious industry that is rampaging all of our cities.  We had a prayer meeting right then and there in the Capitol building with Senator Greenleaf, a judge, another Senator and a handful of other intercessors who have been praying there at the Capitol for the past 50 years.  We prayed Isaiah 61 over Senator Greenleaf that the Spirit of the Lord God would rest upon him to set the captives free!

As we stood in that room, interceding over the issue of children being used in the sex industry, I felt like I was being caught up in a moment - one of those "for such a time as this" kind of moments.  Why Harrisburg?  Why did God call me all the way out to this unassuming city, nowhere near "the nations" that my heart beats for?  Doubt always seems to knock on the windows of the mind, but here I found myself in a moment of divine setup.  Everything has a purpose.  I don't have to know the reason every time.  But I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that when I said "Yes" to Him, no matter what that looked like, He took me for my word and He is faithful with His end of the deal.  He's not going to shipwreck me on an island for no reason.  He's my Dad.  He's been setting all of this up from before the time I was born.

Anyway, today 3 of us girls went back to the Capitol for a press conference that was happening for Senator Greenleaf to present his bill.  Yesterday he told us that it was a hard bill to pass and there was a big chance that it might not even make it through to a voting.  So this morning in the prayer room we had an amazing time of intercession as we released the Spirit of the Lord over Senator Greenleaf, the Capitol building and over the bill.  In our spirits was not only an intense burden from the Lord as He was marking our community with this issue of sex-trafficking, but also a joy-filled hope that God has brought us here to Harrisburg for such a time as this to release liberty!

Well it turned out that we were misinformed about the time of the press conference and we showed up an hour after it had already finished.  Feeling a little let-down, we began to walk back towards the entrance of the building.  While we were walking, I thought to myself, "Maybe we were supposed to come here for some other reason, or to pray for something."  Just then we saw Senator Greenleaf walking down the hall!  We stopped him and asked him how the press conference went.  He told us that it went surprisingly well and they unanimously agreed to bring the bill to the floor to vote on.

He invited us to stay for when he would present the bill to the Senate that afternoon.  He then asked us if we would like to see the Senate Chamber floor right then before they started.  Um Yes!  So he took us in with his special badge, showed us where they sign the bills, explained the different seats in the Chamber, etc...  Then we were able to talk with him more about our hearts for the issue of sex trafficking and how we would love to help them out in someway.  He ended up giving us some crazy connection with a District Attorney who has been largely involved in helping girls who have come out of prostitution.  He told us that she is looking to quit her practice and start moving towards doing that full time.  So he sent us to his office where his secretary took all of our information and she gave us the information of this DA.

Senator Greenleaf

This was all so divinely set up I don't even know what to do with it!  I know there will be more to this story, but right now I just feel so overwhelmed at the goodness of God and His ultimate sovereignty.  Everything is orchestrated by His hand.  I just get to step into this unfolding symphony that He has already written out.  I feel like a seed has been planted in my own spirit.  I can't wait to see how it springs up!

An un-calloused heart

It's my joy to lay my life down.
Cuz when I lose my life for your sake it will be found.

I've had this song playing in my head all morning and it seems to be the anthem of my heart over the past few weeks.

It seems that too often we trumpet the message of "sold out" devotion to Jesus and laying it all down for the sake of the Gospel; we all want to wow the world with our passion and vision for changing the world.  But we often forget that laying out lives down means a whole lot more than packing our suitcases to fly to some country, or being the first to run up to the altar at some big conference.  I'm pretty sure if you asked any goat or lamb who has ever laid down on the altar, they would tell you that the ambition to wow a bunch of people was the furthest thing from their minds!

Or let's look at what Jesus did.  John 15:13 says, "Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends."  What does it look like to lay your life down?  For this generation it often looks like joining an non-profit organization or jumping on the awareness bandwagon.  Or in my experience at ministry schools, it looks like pursuing the itinerate lifestyle - having your own ministry where you get invited all over the world to do big healing and prophetic events.

OK I'm not saying any of this is bad...  I am living a life that involves these elements to some degree.  However, the point I would like to make is - does this equate to the laid down life that Jesus was talking about?  Do our aspirations of becoming "rockstars" in the Christian (or non-Christian) world, fulfill our calling to sacrifice?

I've been pondering this idea of true sacrifice in regards to my life and where the Lord has placed me in this season.  What does laying my life down look like in the inner-city of Harrisburg, PA?  What does laying my life down look like living in a house of 20 some people?  What does laying my life down in the context of community and ministry?

I don't have all the answers, but if there's anything I've learned, even in my time living as an overseas missionary, it is that laying your life down for something or someone is very rarely a glamorous ordeal.  In fact, it usually feels hard - you would rather be doing anything other than sacrificing in the moment, and you hope for some excuse to get out of actually doing what you committed to do.  Or when you do sacrifice, it feels small and insignificant; nobody is watching you and you feel completely hidden.  And then there is the moment of shift when you realize all your ambitions of having 100 really amazing testimonies of how everything and everyone was transformed the minute you stepped onto the scene, actually turned into you sitting with one little kid who could care less about the craft that you had all planned out.

Maybe a harsh example...  But it is so true!  We want the glory stories.  Those are the ones people want to hear.  People don't necessarily want to hear about the one person you spent a couple hours with but didn't see converted.  But I believe that's what laying your life down looks like.  It means laying down every single ambition for personal glory.  It means throwing apathy out the window every... single... day.

I had a dream the other night and in my dream I was praying for someone and I kept declaring over and over again, "God, tear off the callus from their heart!"  I've been praying into that dream and it has become a prayer for myself.  God, tear off any callous that is on my heart!  I want to love like you loved, Jesus!  I want to lay my life down as you did, in order to love on the people you have called me to love on.  I do not want to live my life

So going back to the lyrics of that song, I find that although laying one's life down is anything but glamorous, it produces, however, the most joyous rewards a life could produce.  There is so much joy in the laying down of your own life ambitions in order to serve another person's life.  Learning to love like Jesus loves - sacrificial love - is our highest privilege.  We find our life's true meaning in that place.

I had all of this on my heart as I prepped for and served at the harvest party that we threw for the families in our neighborhood.  200 people showed up in the pouring rain to receive a free chili meal as well as a free professional family portrait.  The entire night I was running (literally) between the overcrowded kitchen full of pots of chili and the big white tents outside that were sheltering everyone from the freezing cold downpour, making sure that everything ran smoothly and everyone was getting fed.

I think back to the moments I was dragging trash bags out of the kitchen or was helping a mother of 3 carry her pie and chili to the table, and I wonder how I can even write a semi-interesting blog on something like that.  I didn't get to sit down for more than 5 minutes at a time to talk to the neighbors and love them like I would have liked to.  But... I saw them as they walked away and I saw the joy written on their faces.  I watched as our team sat in the cold to share a meal with the drug dealer or the single mom living in poverty.  I saw the children with their faces painted as animals, running around, laughing in delight.  It was such a dismal day for our much anticipated party, but love really did break through as each volunteer served in some small yet significant way.

When did it ever have anything to do with me?  When did the definition of sacrifice and servanthood ever involve self-gratification?  Ministry was never designed to somehow validate self-worth and self-importance.  How can we consider it humility when we take the low road while having the intentions of being seen, applauded and then promoted to the high seat of honor?  It's time to lay that all down and die!  If I'm never seen, if I never get patted on the back and if I never get favor or honor by men, I want to continue to see my life as a success before my Savior.  I want to lose sight of my life, in a sense.  But then I want to stumble upon HIS life and have that become the sight that my being is fixed upon.

John 12:24
Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much fruit.

The lovely volunteers

Paradoxical

It was in the middle of a 24 hour Burn, during the 2-4 AM worship set, that the Lord began to speak to me about the paradox that I was about to step into.  I was laying out on the floor, soaking in His sweet presence, when He reminded me of a prophetic word that I received while I was at Bethel.

The picture was of me dancing on top of a gigantic map of the entire world.  This person told me, "You are called to the nations.  You are going to see transformation in the nations through your worship and dance.  But God wants you to know that you don't even have to wait until you are in the nations.  He is going to use you even from your home to release revival to the nations of the world."

As I was remembering this word, Jesus began to elaborate on a word that He gave me 2 years ago but was only now actually breathing upon.  He told me that He was calling me to be planted in a home.  He was not going to send me overseas again right away.  He told me that He was calling me to the house of prayer, the place of worship and intercession.  It was there that He wanted to truly give me His heart for the nations.  Even though I would not be living in the nations, He wanted to teach me how I could impact the world through worship while being planted in America.

It's one thing to have a heart for a nation when you are there living in that nation, surrounded by the culture, seeing up close all of the injustices that thrive in that place.  That becomes your reality and so your heart is forced to respond in some shape or form.   But what does that look like when you are back in the all-consuming reality of Western, American life?  You no longer see the faces, no longer have the conversations, no longer hear the cries.  It becomes a distant and "imagined" reality.  That is when you truly need God's heart in order to love all the peoples of the world.

I thought I had God's heart for the nations.  I mean, I lived in South America for 8 months.  I did the missionary thing.  I know the daily grind of being a long-term missionary.  But when I came back to America I had a massive reality check.  Did I really learn to love?  Am I even called to the nations?  At the end of the day, is it even worth it?  Is loving these people worth the pain?  What happens when I run out of love?

After months of wrestling with these hard questions, walking through dark days where I didn't know if I even wanted to love the nations, I saw that my own love was most definitely not enough.  My heart is only so big.  My love is only so strong.  It has a beginning and an end.  And once I reach the end, then what?  But His love is not so.

So why would He call me to a house of prayer in America if He wanted to give me His heart for the nations?  Therein lies the paradox that I find myself in the middle of.  I am learning that it is impossible to draw close to God's heart in the place of worship without getting His heart for the world.  The more time you spend gazing at this God of love, the more you come face to face with the emotions of His heart; you see what it is that His love is turned towards.  The place of intimacy with Jesus inevitably leads to a call to missions - whatever that looks like for each individual.  Some will be called to go live in a remote village, others will be called to the arena of business suits and ties; the point being that you can't fall in love with Jesus without falling in love with the world.

There have been different occasions in my life where I would say I experienced a very deep, emotional place of God's heart.  These have not been flowery, magical moments where I felt the "I'm on top of the world" kind of love for the nations.  They have been excruciatingly painful, anything but pretty, humiliating and unorthodox moments.  But I would so much rather be on the floor in a puddle of tears and snot and really know what God feels for the world, than to go "dancing through life, skimming the surface."

Now let it be known that I have the theology that God is in a good mood.  Too many people in the Church see God as an angry, old man who is waiting for us to mess up so He can punish us.  He is a far cry from that ridiculous image!  He is a God that delights in us with rejoicing, wild spinning and whoops of outrageous happiness over each of us.  That being true, He is neither one faced in His character, only being a God of joy.  God feels every emotion in it's fullest form for God is emotion in it's fullest form.  I feel like even less of the Church truly sees the weeping God.  We all love the joy and laughter that comes as we experience His delight, but not many of us would choose the suffering of God's heart.

But this is this is what He is looking for, and is one of the reasons He called me here in this season - He is looking for those that want to know what He feels, for those that He can trust with the deep things of His heart.  It is as we experience the deep emotions of God's heart that all self-motivation is ripped out of us.  If we rush into the nations without this key, it becomes too easy to lose sight of why we are doing what we are doing.  He wants to trust us with the nations, with strategies to solve all the problems of the earth, with a global harvest of billions of souls; but He first wants to see if He can trust us with His heart.

So as I find myself weeping on the church floor or in the quiet of my car in the city of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, wondering if the pain is worth it when I really can't do anything from where I'm at, Jesus simply whispers, "Exactly!  It's not about what you can do, how amazing you are at loving people, or the vision and passion you have to impact the nations.  You tried that, remember?  You are here to get my heart for the nations." 

So here I am, a 21 year old girl from Colorado, burning for worship and missions, living on the East Coast of the US, wondering how on earth I got out here.  But I find that I am smack-dab in the very middle of His will and there's no place I would rather be.  I don't want another encounter where I walk away unchanged.  I want to be so ravished by His heart of justice and compassion for the world that that becomes my every waking moment reality.  I know that it is worth it, so I keep saying Yes!!!

If you're ever in Salem during Halloween...

Salem, MA

Let me take you to a recent scene in the heart of New England.

It's the night before Halloween.  The late October temperatures cause the tourists and locals alike to wrap their jackets and scarves a little bit tighter.  The streets of Salem, MA are already beginning to fill with the throngs of people who have traveled to this small town for the annual witch festival.  This town truly revolves around witchcraft.  Whether it is seen as a real supernatural power or not, witchcraft thrives in Salem because of the tourist attraction that it has become.  It is a symbol, a Mecca, for those involved and intrigued by witchcraft.  But it is on one night during the year at the very end of October that over 100,000 people throng the quaint, village like Main St. in Salem.  And that's why we came.  On one of the darkest nights of the year, in a place that has become a hub for the spirits of darkness to gather, we come to burn brightly, passionately and continually.

We have gathered two blocks from where all the "festivities" will take place - rituals, seances, necromancy, a psychic fair, etc...  Tucked away in a beautiful brick church built over 125 years ago, the kingdom of heaven is breaking out in explosions of worship, praise and declarations of revival.  Somewhere between 60-100 people have gathered from all over the east coast to take part in a 60 hour, non-stop prayer and worship service.

This is what we call a Burn.  An unbroken sound of worship carrying on throughout the day and throughout the night.  Each worship set lasting 2 hours, some sets full of the rambunctious expression of celebration before the Lord, others sets carrying an atmosphere of stillness before the Lord as people rest in His presence or pray out the Scripture.  Different groups of people are assigned to the sanctuary to sustain the prayer and worship, while everyone else joins in or take short breaks in the back of the church.  Sleeping bags are unrolled in the basement and upper room of the church.  Sleep comes in very short shifts, but it almost feels like you aren't asleep but just soaking in the worship that echoes throughout the entire building all night long.   There is an eternal pot of coffee in the back of the church to help shake off the sleep before entering back into another worship set.  We do this because we believe there is a kingdom that is greater than the kingdom of darkness in Salem.  And we know that this kingdom, the kingdom of heaven, is attracted to the sound of passionate, abandoned worship released by hearts that are fully in love.

Wild dance party in the church

Back to the scene I was painting...

On this particular night, the night before Halloween, the night before the darkest night of the year, heaven is indeed invading this small church gathering.  It seems as though the hours of incessant worship has pierced through into greater realms of His glory.  It's something that really can't be fully explained, but when you are in the very middle of what is going on, you know that it is real; it's more real than even the darkness that surrounds us.  The spirit of fear and intimidation is completely cast off as some 100 people dance wildly to the tribal drum beats that bounce off the sanctuary walls.  Joy is spilling over the brim, threatening to flood outside of the building.  Shouts of victory released, banners of freedom raised, an appeal to boldly and fearlessly love the lost goes out amongst this body of radical people.  Anyone peering in through the stained glass windows at this very moment would be caught off guard by this almost frenzied scene.  We are not burying our heads in desperate prayer, begging God to show up.  We are rejoicing with the good news that He has already shown up and He wants to encounter and heal the lost, the broken, the prisoners, the witches and the psychics more than even we do.

Are you there with me?  Did you feel the excitement rising in your spirit?  Did your ears ring with hope and encouragement?  Did the picture of abandoned worship catch you up into His glorious presence?  Well it was with this sight still flashing in my mind, these sounds still ringing in my ears, and this experience filling my heart that I walked out onto the streets Halloween night.  It truly was a sight to see.  Around 50 of us marched out of the church, skipping with excitement, literally running towards the witches and psychics and every frightening scene imaginable.  As we arrived to the dark yet crowded streets, we split up into groups stationed on the sidewalks.  Signs waving above our heads that read - "Free spiritual readings" & "Free spiritual healing" - definitely drew the attention of many curious people looking to have a good time.  We weren't like the doomsday preachers on the benches, evangelizing hate and condemnation.  We weren't like the psychics at the booths, cheating people's pocket books on a counterfeit power.  We were different.  We carried the real power, the real Jesus.

4 AM worship

What I experienced that night was completely revolutionary.  Now you have to understand; I am no stranger to street evangelism.  I have gone to every supernatural, prophetic, healing, evangelism conference.  I have gone to 3 years of ministry school.  I practically grew up doing outreaches.  But this felt almost foreign to what I've always known of outreach.  I have heard the message of "ministry flowing from intimacy" preached from every pulpit in regards to outreach.  I myself have preached this message from my own pulpit.  But never have I experienced it so much a reality as I did in Salem.

Outreach has always felt like a massive pressure on me - pressure to see results, pressure to fit a certain description of an evangelist, pressure to hear God's voice, etc...  In my mind, I have always concurred with the truth that we need to go out without an agenda, but still that unspoken expectation looms around every corner of my heart.  I have dealt with this demon of performance more times than I can count.  And yet at times I wonder if it is even worth it.  I would rather not go on outreaches than to have to bear the pressure of fitting a role that is not me.

The Haunted Happenings festival Halloween night

But, like I said before, Salem was different, Salem was revolutionary, Salem was a reality I have not experienced before.  Our goal was not to have a successful outreach.  Even though this might offend some, our focus wasn't even to reach the lost.  Our priority the entire time we were in Salem was simply to worship Jesus, to give Him the praise and adoration that He deserves.  And we did just that for 60 hours straight.  The outreach was the after-party of that.  It was the post-game celebration.  And with that attitude, pressure and expectation were completely stripped of authority.  The rug was pulled out from underneath spirit of performance.  Of course there still was an intense spiritual battle going on all around us, but we were in a reality so far above that the darkness didn't even faze us.  I had more fun than I have ever had during an outreach.  I saw more fruit than I ever have during an outreach.  And it was so easy.

I have countless stories of people encountering Jesus and having their lives changed - both the spiritual seekers and the cynical mockers.  Real witches encountered the God of love.  Broken teenagers wept as they heard about the Father's heart.  Every person we prayed for physical healing got healed.  We saw people get saved right there on the streets.  You could literally see a light turning on in the eyes of hopeless people.  It was by no means a "hard" spiritual environment.  Honestly it was like ministering from an open heaven.  I was seriously blown away by it all.

In the very middle of everything going on that night, I had a brief moment with Jesus.  I was so full of thanksgiving, I couldn't help but stop what I was doing and marvel at how good and faithful He is.  He placed this dream in my heart for such a long time - to intentionally go to the darkest places without any agenda but to simply worship Him with all of my heart and to burn so brightly that people come to watch.  This was happening.  This was reality.  And now I just want to say to anyone reading this post - He really does want to use us.  He really does put dreams in our hearts for a reason.  And He really does love showing up in what the church would label as the hardest and darkest places.  That's His specialty.

The House of Prayer

This week my church here in Harrisburg (Life Center) is launching a 24/7 house of prayer.  24/7.  Day and night worship and prayer.  A place where people come during every hour of the day to carry on continual intercession.  Who even came up with this idea?

More and more my heart is being stirred by the ever present theme of continual prayer and worship in Scripture.  I feel like the Holy Spirit opened my eyes to a message that before, my eyes had always swept over nonchalantly, and now this same message seems to scream at me from every page.  This book that lays over my lap is bursting at the seams with this steady rhythm.
Worship and prayer
Day and night
The house of God
24/7

Every time Scripture references the house of the Lord, the tabernacle or the temple, it is in reality speaking of this idea of a house of prayer.  In the Old Testament, the temple was where the manifest presence of God dwelt.  The shekinah glory of the Lord was contained in the Ark of the Covenant where only the appointed high priest could go and minister before the Lord.  Everything to do with the tabernacle was a model of worship.  From the craftsmanship of the temple to the sacrifices, and from the fire on the altar to the ceremonial washing, it was all a foreshadowing of what God had designed for all of his children for all of eternity.

Then there was David's tabernacle.  Never before had the place of the presence of God been made available for the common man.  It was only ever available to the priests.  But David was a man after God's own heart.  He was the boy who created a secret history with the Lord when no one was watching, worshipping Him with his harp in the fields.  His heart for continual worship started in that place, when he was a little ol' nobody with a life full of nothing looming in front of him.  And it was that same heart of worship that he carried with him into the courts of a king, out onto the bloody battlefield, into the caves and wastelands of a refugee, and eventually up the road that led to Mount Zion where he built a house for God.

(Just had to add a random church pic with the fall colors :) )

David established a house of prayer where he appointed professional musicians and singers to release 24/7 worship through psalms.  This continual worship lasted for 33 years and became a prophetic declaration of what would one day be available to all peoples.  Unhindered, uninhibited, day and night enjoyment of His manifest presence and the permanently clean hands that are required to be lifted up in a response of worship and prayer!  We look at the history of David and the house of God that he built and we marvel at it as some kind of miraculous phenomenon that marked history.  And yet we fail to understand that David only tasted of a reality that is every believer's inheritance and mandate.

Thus enters the Great High Priest.  Hebrews 9 says that through His sacrifice, we are able to enter the Most Holy Place and serve the Living God.  In fact, that is our inheritance!
Why is it that we have locked unending prayer and worship into the realm of eternity?  We picture angels sitting on clouds, playing their hearts and sweetly singing "Holy, Holy, Holy," without ever stopping.  We have safely packaged the idea of 24/7 and placed it into the great unknown of "forever" along with all the other things we cannot sufficiently understand.  However, we are robbing ourselves of the very thing that Jesus paid His life for.

Jesus said in Matthew 21:13, "It is written, 'My house shall be called a house of prayer.'"  1 Peter 2:5 says, "You also, as living stones, are being built up a spiritual house, a holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ."  2 Corinthians 6:16 says, "For we are the temple of the living God."  You don't have to read between the lines to see it.  It's not an Old Testament history lesson or a future Millennial reality.

So why isn't this happening everywhere?  Well the encouraging news is... that it actually is!  God is moving amongst his people all across the globe.  There is a fresh wave of hunger for the place of prayer and worship, the same hunger that gripped David when he wrote, "For zeal for your house consumes me..." (Psalm 69:9)  This idea of 24/7 is catching like a simple spark takes to a dry forrest floor.  It's not something that can be conjured up or coaxed out of the church congregation.  You cannot make people devote their time to the place of continual prayer and worship and actually sustain it.  If there is not the passion and zeal that David spoke of, the meetings slowly dwindle until they are non-existant.  And yet, houses of prayer are springing up everywhere.  It would seem that during this chapter of history, God is stirring the heart of His children to cry out to Him.  And I truly believe that it is when the heart cries of a people collide with the purposes of God's heart that we will see revival break out in every corner of the world.  Obviously God could pour out His Spirit at any point that He so desired, but He is wanting His children to draw near to Him with desperate hearts of adoration.  And that is exactly what is happening in this hour.

So I guess that's just a tidbit I wanted to share as I continue to move toward making my life a "house of prayer", so to speak, as well as jumping into the ministry of 24/7 house of prayer.  Basically, to sum it all up, everything within me is jumping up and down like an over ecstatic little 3-year-old, squealing - YES!!  This is what I was made for.
Worship and prayer
Day and night
The house of God
24/7
Unto the purpose of the entire earth being set ablaze with the knowledge the Living God!

Our Burn Family (minus a few)

Some of the beautiful ladies that I am running with in this adventure!

Security of a different kind

Sometimes I feel like I'm crazy.  No, I'm not jumping out of airplanes or chasing tornadoes, seeking the thrill factor.  (At least not at this point.)  No, it's more of a lifestyle that feels crazy because it doesn't fit into the cultural "norm".  In fact, at times I feel as though my lifestyle is pushing in exact opposition of the strong current of our society.  What sort of picture does our society paint of the lifestyle that we need to arrive at in order to be truly happy and successful?

Security.  Everyone strives for this idea.  A life that is completely secure, an education that secures a title, a job that secures all life's needs, friends that secure a social life, insurance that secures protection for your health, car, and home,  investments and savings that secure a perfect retirement?  Sign me up!  Without these securities we feel completely vulnerable to all of life's spiteful calamities.  We build entire empires around ourselves to protect us from the possibility of ending up unsuccessful, unhappy, without a plan and all alone.

By no means am I suggesting that any of these things are inherently "bad".  Scripture is constantly endorsing hard work, diligence, prudence, wisdom, etc...  These are all a part of His plan to extend the Kingdom on the earth!  What I am addressing is the motive.  What happens if the Lord asks us to lay down one of these securities?  Is there a trusting heart that lies within the walls of our empires?  Or will our fear and insecurity be unveiled?

I can be really honest, my heart felt exposed, laid bare, fearful and vulnerable when the Lord asked me if I would give Him the need to have a "secure" life.  He asked me if I could let HIM be my security.  Isaiah 28:16 says, "See, I lay a stone in Zion, a tested stone, a precious cornerstone for a sure foundation; the one who relies on it will never be stricken with panic."  Could I live a lifestyle of relying on Jesus as my sure foundation?  Of course any of us would say that our security comes from Jesus, but when it really comes down to it, can we choose to live that way?

A majority of what I am doing right now consists of ministry to the Lord.  Pursuit of His face.  Pouring out myself in the place of worship and prayer.  Discovering the truth of who God is and declaring it back to Him.  Letting His love spill over from the place of worship and into the community.  Partnering with God's heart in contending for revival in the earth, for transformed lives and cities.  And this is my very heartbeat, where I find my passion and purpose colliding.  But still at the back of my mind was this nagging thought.  Is this kind of life actually legitimate?  Isn't this just wasting your time?  You could be out there building your life and your ministry, but instead you are worshipping and praying.  I knew the truth of what God had placed inside of me, but it was like the mainstream voice of society was waging war on what I truly believed.

Then I came upon this verse - Deuteronomy 10:8-9, "At that time the Lord separated the tribe of Levi to bear the ark of the covenant of the Lord, to stand before the Lord to minister to Him and to bless in His name, to this day.  Therefore Levi has no portion nor inheritance with his brethren; the Lord is his inheritance, just as the Lord your God promised him."

Levi was the one tribe out of the 12 tribes of Israel that was chosen to serve as priests who would minister to the Lord.  When the children of Israel crossed into the Promised Land, the land was divided amongst the tribes as their inheritance, except for the tribe of Levi.  They were not given land to toil and occupy.  Their inheritance was to steward the presence of God!

This example has now become a picture of what each of us are called to as children of God.  1 Peter 2:9 says, "But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light."  As priests, each of us are now called to minister to the Lord in the holiness of His presence!  It is our great privilege and our inheritance.

As the Lord revealed this to me, I began to see the great validity of what I am doing.  The actual expression of a life of ministry before the Lord may change over time and with the passing of each season, but at the end of the day I know that my number one calling is to simply love on Jesus.  And for now it looks like the Levites, having His presence as my inheritance instead of pursuing all other inheritances.  I know it looks foolish.  But He seems to like to use the foolish things as opposed to the things that make sense to us.

Singing in the Slums

Autumn is gracefully beginning to trim the edges of this Pennsylvania city.  Hints of reds and golds are set against the backdrop of dazzling blue skies.  Crisp mornings are accompanied with hot teas, the crunch of leaves underfoot, and the satisfaction of being caught up in such a lovely life.  I always dreamt of being on the east coast to witness the transformation of summer to fall.  I never thought that such a thing would happen in all seriousness, but apparently Jesus wanted me to experience that dream!  This morning I was on a walk with Jesus and I couldn't help throwing my head back and laughing at the sky.  I just love living life, walking alongside of Him.  He always leads me into good things.  Sometimes it's a nerve wrecking journey of uncertainty but the point never was the outcome, it has always been doing life together.  And what I have already been able to be a part of here in Harrisburg has been worth all of the trusting and following.

This past week our Burn family split up into groups and went to different street corners in our neighborhood to do worship and minister to anyone nearby.  Let me paint a picture of the neighborhood we live in, Allison Hill...

Known in Harrisburg as the roughest neighborhood in the city, Allison Hill is home to mostly low-income families and individuals.  It is basically the slums of Harrisburg.  Every street is covered in trash.  Almost every building is run down and covered in graffiti.  People aimlessly wander the streets and alleys, having really no where to go and nothing to do.  Poverty lies like a heavy blanket over the area, providing absolutely no escape routes.  Outside my window I can daily hear the sound of sirens flying by.  Crime is like a disease in this neighborhood.  Most days, drug deals take place right out in the open.  Theft, murder and prostitution are all normal.

I see the little kids running down our alley, just babies, and this is the only world that they know.  Just yesterday we drove by a drug deal taking place around the block and one of the guys had his 2-year old son with him, holding his hand.  This is normal here.  From the day these kids are born, they don't have a chance.  How can they?  This is their reality.

Throughout the week many of the kids will play in our yard as we have a nice big spot of grass perfect for games.  I see the light in their eyes as they get chased around by one of our guys or hear their laughter coming in joyful bursts as we give them piggy-back rides and spin them around 'til they are completely dizzy.  And I know that Jesus wants to give these little ones a hope filled future.  Jesus wants to bring transformation to this community.  Jesus wants to restore broken families.  Honestly, Jesus wants to be out on the streets picking up the trash.  Wasn't that what He came to do?  Didn't he come to pick up all the billions of scattered pieces... one by one?

Anyway, back to my story of our worship time...  My team went to a little park 3 blocks from our house.  It was this beautiful, little, garden-like park that I assume belongs to the church across the street, because all the fences have verses and proclamations of hope and transformation painted on them.  We were stoked to find instruments that had actually been built into the park - xylophones, bongos, chimes, etc...  So with our guitar, percussion instruments and voices we released a sound over our community.  Joyful songs of celebration.  Clapping, stamping, spinning, dancing.  Drum beats of freedom.  Melodies of hope.  Laughter in the face of such great poverty.  Laughter because it's a new day!

If anything it was so much fun.  There we were standing amongst the rubble of a community plagued by a dark and oppressive spirit, a neighborhood that locals warn us against living in, and we were celebrating the reality of the Kingdom we are a part of.  Romans 14:17 "For the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit."

People might wonder, "Why are you living there?"  "What is that really accomplishing?"  But during that little, unorganized worship time where people looked on at us as they walked by on the streets, I felt something flutter in my heart.  It wasn't a bolt of lightening, but the beginning of a strong "knowing" in my spirit.  This is my land.  I live here because Holy Spirit called me here and therefore it is my spiritual territory.  I want to occupy this land and take back all the Enemy has stolen.  I have come to realize that the culture in me is greater than the culture around me.  Even if I am stepping into the darkest, Hell-struck city in the whole world, the Kingdom of Heaven is inside of me!  Whether it be through intercession, worship sets, praying for people on the streets or picking up trash, by living in this neighborhood and occupying the land, light will invade the darkness!

I am so excited to partner with Holy Spirit as well as with my family here in Harrisburg to see transformation in Allison Hill.  We are going to continue to hit the streets, doing worship sets, evangelism, and whatever the Lord leads us to do.  We want to continue to love on the kids in the neighborhood and see them encounter Jesus.  There is also a girls group that we are starting up for a handful of teenage girls that some of the girls in the house already have relationship with.  And who knows what else will come out of this house.  We are a community that believes Jesus when He tells us to pray, "Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven."  














(Photos found on http://photos.pennlive.com/pennlivecom_photo_essays/2012/08/culturally_diverse.html#photo-11421644)

Isaiah 55

Have you ever had one of those unsuspecting moments when you know you have just stumbled upon the very breath of God coming off of the pages of Scripture like a mighty wind and blasting you in the face?  You just can’t miss it at that point.  It’s not an “Oh I think I just felt a slight breeze” moment.  It’s that gust that blows your hair in all directions, causes you to hold onto your purse so it doesn’t fly away, and makes you brace yourself so you don’t fall over.  The LORD is speaking!

Well I had that happen to me this week and it all started with me seeing the numbers 555.  For a couple days I literally saw 555 everywhere - phone numbers, receipts, license plates, gas stations, etc...  So it became apparent to me that Jesus was trying to get my attention.  I looked up the only 2 scriptures that have the reference 555.  Psalm 55:5 was definitely NOT what He was speaking.  (You can look it up or take my word for it... :) )  And the only other one was Isaiah 55:5.  “Surely you shall call a nation you do not know, and nations who do not know you shall run to you, because of the LORD your God, and the Holy One of Israel; For He has glorified you.”  In my mind I was thinking, That’s awesome Jesus.  I know I’m called to nations so, I mean, that’s a nice verse, but I don’t understand why you would highlight this scripture to me.  Then He had me read the context of that verse.  (Always read context!)

Isaiah 55 begins with a call - COME!  Everyone who is thirsty, COME to the waters.  Even if you don’t have money, COME buy and eat.  COME enjoy the abundance of heaven!  Basically, God is addressing the concerns and needs that get in the way of us coming and entering into His fullness.  He is saying - It doesn’t matter if you are in need.  It doesn’t matter if you are in lack.  It doesn’t matter if you have nothing to offer.  Come anyway.  I will take care of all your needs and satisfy you with the goodness of My presence.

This hit the nail on the head.  Ever since moving here to Harrisburg I have been declaring my undying devotion to God.  - God I trust You!  I trust You to be my provider.  I trust You to fulfill all Your promises.  I trust  You to lead me into the fullness of what You have for me.  But doubt slowly crept in and tried to trip me up at the doorway to His presence..  Will God really take care of me?  Is He truly faithful to His promises?  How is everything going to work out.  Am I really hearing His voice?  But in vs. 1-2, He says that I don’t have to worry.  He’s totally got me covered.  Just COME in and lay those concerns at the doorstep.

Vs. 3-4 then go on to talk about a covenant - a promise made of the Lord, an extravagant inheritance that will be a testimony to the whole world of how truly good God is.  The details of this promise are laid out in vs. 5-7...

• Nations shall run to you
• You shall be glorified
• The wicked will give up his ways
• The unrighteous man will give up his way of thinking
• They will both turn back to God
• God will be extravagant in His forgiveness and restoration of those who turn to Him

To sum it up, there will be a world-wide harvest and God wants it to come through us!

The LORD immediately spoke to me.  Ellie, you are praying the wrong prayers.  You are stuck thinking about your immediate needs and concerns.  I already told you that I completely have you covered.  You don’t have to worry about that at all.  Instead, you need to expand your thinking.  You need to be asking Me for the nations as your inheritance!

As I looked at the next verse I knew this was clearly God speaking to me.  Vs. 8-9 say that His thoughts are so much greater than our thoughts and His ways are so much higher than our ways.  So much conviction hit me in that moment.  I had given into “little thinking.”  I was missing out on His standard of living because I was focusing on all the wrong things.

How often do we allow all the insignificant worries of life come into our homes and exalt themselves to positions of rulership?  We hand over the keys to our house and say, “I am now giving you the say on how things are run around here.”  But then when we stand before the face of God and gaze upon His greatness, we are jolted back into an awareness of how truly insignificant all those concerns are.  Therein lies the revelation that the more we stare at the face of God, the less we will be tripped up by “little thinking.”  So that’s my cry.  God keep me in that place of awareness of Your greatness!  Don’t let me relinquish my role as a daughter or my inheritance through Your covenant with me.  I will keep coming in, no matter what may be the reality of my situation.  I will make You my reality!

There is so much more revelation in Isaiah 55 that I could go on and on about, but the essence of what He revealed to me was actually in Isaiah 55:5.  Nations.  He’s reminding me why He brought me to Harrisburg.  He wants to give me a greater understanding of His heart for the nations of the world.  I may not be overseas or doing the "normal" missionary thing, but He wants to use me and teach me how to contend for the nations, to contend for a world-wide harvest while I am here in my own nation.  That is my vision in giving myself to spending my time in a house of prayer environment.  I may not see how it all works out quite yet, but He is reshaping the way I think and the way I pray.  Yay God!

Isaiah 55

1“Ho! Everyone who thirsts,
Come to the waters;
And you who have no money,
Come, buy and eat.
Yes, come, buy wine and milk
Without money and without price.
2Why do you spend money for what is not bread,
And your wages for what does not satisfy?
Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good,
And let your soul delight itself in abundance.
3Incline your ear, and come to Me.
Hear, and your soul shall live;
And I will make an everlasting covenant with you—
The sure mercies of David.
4Indeed I have given him as a witness to the people,
A leader and commander for the people.
5Surely you shall call a nation you do not know,
And nations who do not know you shall run to you,
Because of the Lord your God,
And the Holy One of Israel;
For He has glorified you.”
6Seek the Lord while He may be found,
Call upon Him while He is near.
7Let the wicked forsake his way,
And the unrighteous man his thoughts;
Let him return to the Lord,
And He will have mercy on him;
And to our God,
For He will abundantly pardon.
8“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.
9“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.
10“For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven,
And do not return there,
But water the earth,
And make it bring forth and bud,
That it may give seed to the sower
And bread to the eater,
11So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth;
It shall not return to Me void,
But it shall accomplish what I please,
And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.
12“For you shall go out with joy,
And be led out with peace;
The mountains and the hills
Shall break forth into singing before you,
And all the trees of the field shall clap theirhands.
13Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress tree,
And instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree;
And it shall be to the Lord for a name,
For an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.”